Friday, November 25 2022


Disclaimer, I’m not in the habit of listening to other people’s conversations, but once in a while you hear something so juicy that you pull out your phone to “scroll” so you can really log in.

It happened to me last Thursday at the hairdresser. The woman next to me was complaining to the hairdresser about her failed love life when she exclaimed, “Like the last guy I went on a date with was married!”

OK girl, you have my attention!

Turns out there are a bunch of married guys on dating apps who want to see what the fuss is all about – and the way this guy did it was so sneaky it almost blew me away.

She explained that she swiped right on this guy, and they shared a few brief messages before he told her he felt overwhelmed with the app and was going to shut it down, but hopefully , he would prefer to talk to her by text. .

So they exchanged phone numbers and started texting. The next night she went on a date with him, and she found him so charming that they ended up undressing together. Hey, why not.

He had explained that he was traveling on the freeway for work and would make sure they got out again the next time he was in town. She was thrilled and couldn’t wait to see him again.

Now lean in, dear reader, because that’s where the scandal comes in! The next day, she’s on Facebook and she notices that in her “friends wanted” column, a picture of the guy she went on a date with appeared… except the name doesn’t match the picture.

You see, she went out with a Ben, and this guy’s name is ‘Tony’. Hmm …

She goes into full female Inspector Gadget mode and dives into that Facebook profile. It looks like he actually lives down the highway…with a wife and child.

She knows it’s him because his profile picture is the same as the one he had on his dating app (silly!) and it looks like he decided to give himself a fake name while traveling interstate for work so he can see how the other (single) half Direct.

It turns out that if you save someone’s cell phone number in your phone contacts, then Facebook will find their profile and put them in your suggested friends list. Wow. Bloke got fired by Mark Zuckerberg!

Now it doesn’t end there, oh no. She then checks his wife’s Facebook profile, finds out where she works, calls the company, asks to speak to the woman and tells her everything.

Over the next week, the woman requests screenshots and details of their date, which she provides and blows up their marriage.

Unfortunately I didn’t get more details because it was time for the hairdresser to wash my foils (boo hiss!) But that got me thinking how easy it is to use apps to trick shenanigans.

I remember meeting a friend’s married brother on the apps a few years ago. The old pal had airbrushed his pictures (cringe) but it was definitely him.

So it’s probably no surprise that, according to a recent study by research firm GlobalWebIndex (GWI), 30% of dating app users are married, while 12% are in a relationship.

Now, I get that those who were in a relationship before the dating app era probably felt like they missed out on fun dates and bedroom antics, and to be fair…you did.

But it’s not all sexting and cocktails my friends, oh no. It’s also ending up on nightmarish dates, getting caught, and trying to decipher if someone is really the six-foot-four they claimed to be on their profile. Spoiler alert: the grass isn’t always greener.

And do you know what is even more annoying for a single person than to realize that he went on a date with someone he is not interested in… going on a date with someone who interests him but has been duped because this person is married.

So here’s an idea for all you smart dating app makers…how about making a rule that you can’t join an app unless you’re verified. It’s 2022, surely it can’t be that hard? ! Oh, and married friends, stay out of our territory! Good God, the dating world is never boring.

Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of boyfriends | @jana_hocking

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