Can video chatting before a first date improve your love life?
Catfishing is never fun. But that’s not the only reason to have a video chat with a dating app before you meet in real life. In fact, video chatting before a first date can take your love life from disappointing to exciting.
“Meeting in person without a video call is a kind of dating roulette: Will they look like their pictures? Will we have chemistry? Do we have something to say to each other? It puts a lot of pressure and stress on a date you, making it hard to get excited or relax and enjoy it,” says Mia Lux, co-founder and CEO of dating platform La Vette Social Club.
According to Lux, a quick video vibe check is one of the easiest ways to drastically improve your love life. First of all, it saves you time and effort. You can significantly gauge whether a connection has potential outside of a “hey” message and a few profile pictures.
“When you’re just texting, you lose tone, body language, eye contact, etc., all of which are huge attraction factors and willingness to date someone,” says Nicole Schafer, counselor licensed professional and sex and relationship coach.
“It should be required before a first date, in my opinion!” Not only has this benefited me from personal experiences, but I preach it to all of my clients, friends and family who currently frequent online dating sites,” she adds.
Benefits of video chatting before a first date
Other benefits of video chatting before a first date include psychological safety.
“Making a video call first also creates connection and security from the start. Dating can seem daunting (which is why women often cancel at the last minute), but if you connect to a video call first , you create a familiarity,” says Lux.
In other words, your first date will feel less like meeting a stranger on the internet. You’ll be more excited to plan an exciting date that goes beyond “quick, low-stakes drinks,” as Lux puts it.
When you adopt a video priority policy, you show potential dates that you value your time and theirs, she adds. This communicates attractive and high standards and also sets the tone for a high quality relationship.
The Dos and Don’ts of Video Chatting with Your Partner
Ready to embrace video calling before first dates? There are a few things to consider for a successful video chat.
First, approach the subject in a light and direct manner. Lux suggests switching from texting to video chatting, saying something like, “I like to chat, I want to do a quick 15 minute video call tonight and make sure we both pass the test. psychopath?”
If the person is unwilling to intervene, consider that a warning sign. If they agree, so much the better.
Just before the call, make sure you are in an appropriate environment. Avoid loud background noises or the presence of family and friends, Schafer says. She also stresses the importance of being sober. Having a drink to relax may seem tempting, but you want to perform at your best.
Once you’re on the call, however, there’s no need to chat for hours.
“Keep it short and sweet,” says Schafer. “You’ll be able to tell pretty quickly if this is someone you want to meet in real life. Keep some of your cards handy so you have more to share on the first in-person date!
“Approach it like a casual conversation with a friend – the point is just to get a feel for each other and see if there’s any good potential for a connection. You can play it by ear , but stick to the time parameter you gave; nobody likes to get stuck on a call,” Lux adds.
You’ve Video Chatted – Now What?
At best, the conversation is smooth and you’re both excited to explore your connection in person. The worst case scenario is a mutual (or one-sided) lack of attraction. If you’re not interested in meeting in person, be nice and honest.
“If it’s not someone you want to sue, let them know,” Schafer said.
Keep in mind that it’s okay to take some time after the video chat before determining if you want to meet in person.
“Don’t feel like you have to make a decision on the call about whether you want to ask them out on a date,” says Lux. “It’s good to give yourself and the other person a second to process the call and feel it, and then decide if you want to meet in person.”
The conclusion you will come to is likely the conclusion you would have come to after meeting face-to-face once – you are either very interested, feeling somewhat neutral but curious enough to explore the connection further, or not interested at all.
Use the extra step of video chat wisely and you’ll have more hope for dating by avoiding disappointing dates and favoring promising ones.
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