It has become one of many new breaking habits, just without explanation! I remember it was considered disrespectful to talk on the phone, you expected to have face to face, it was a breakup conversation. Now we have the privilege of ghosting or MIA. Nonetheless, it is a common occurrence and if you had the unfortunate opportunity to experience being ghosted, ignored or whatever you want to call it, your feelings and thoughts would have been overwhelmed. But you’re not alone, according to a survey by Plenty Of Fish, 78% of single millennials have been ghosted on a date.
How to Bounce Back After Being Ghosted
Being a ghost is not a pleasant experience. Being ghosted by someone you recently dated can be a major ego blow, and being ghosted by a long-term partner is devastating. Breakups could be handled with a little more class and dignity. Here are some reasons why people decide to go ghost:
- They don’t wanna have that awkward breakup conversation
- They assume you feel the same
- The relationship was casual, they didn’t think it required an official breakup conversation
While most of us frown upon this dating habit, we have all survived it. Some cope better than others. Considering its frequency, this is probably a skill worth developing. So how do you bounce back from feelings of rejection? Here are my top eight tips to get you through those ghostly moments!
- Give them the benefit of the doubt: if it’s only been a few hours, wait and see if they come back to you.
- Reframe your thinking: Most people take ghosting very personally. Thoughts of not being enough, unlovable or unworthy. But this is not the case. Your fears are speaking out loud. Fears that will keep you from taking future risks in your relationships. Feelings are not facts, just because you feel that doesn’t mean it’s true.
- Do not contact them: they know where to find you. If you reach out, you again put yourself in a position of possible rejection. You’ll spend time orchestrating the perfect text and you won’t hear anything back! Another blow to the ego. The less attention you can pay to the Ghoster, the better.
- You may not be made for each other! Don’t dwell on all the things you think might not be right for you, just agree that they’re not right for you. If they were, they would have stuck around and wanted to be with you.
- Listen to your feelings, but be careful what you do with them.
- Stay busy! Self-pity is very counterproductive and will undermine your self-esteem. It will then be more difficult to establish a real connection with someone.
- Pay attention to other prospects, especially those who contact you. Since the ghost didn’t prioritize you, don’t prioritize them either. Go back to your dating apps, follow people you’ve talked to before, and be open to talking to new people.
- If you are worried that your future dates will ghost you. Talk about that. Ask them if they have ever experienced ghosting and how it felt. Sharing these experiences makes it less likely that either of you will ghost each other.
Doctor To like is Australia’s leading love and relationship expert! Based in Sydney, she specializes in helping people navigate the science and metaphysics of relationships. Modern day cupid for individuals discovering self-love, singles ready to find love, and couples ready to make love last forever, she is the singular authority on how to make a relationship last. . The To like The laboratory is Doctor To likeThe signature series of classes, seminars, lectures and intensives for those ready to find, cultivate and keep love. From the discovery of chemistry to the transformation of a love gone wrong, Doctor To like guides couples in creating bonds that can last a lifetime.