Comment: Why are people on dating apps so boring and conversations so poor?
As a former frequent user of Tinder and OKCupid, with friends still in the game of dating apps, I have had my fair share of experiences and stories.
There is a range of reasons, from social characteristics unique to Singapore to individual dating fatigue – all of them coming together to stimulate the cogs of monotony in the dating arena.
It doesn’t sound great, but we are compliance creatures in Singapore. From strict school rules to implicit career hierarchies, the institutions we grow up in have inculturated us to act in proven ways, citing them as consistently delivering good results.
We can apply this rather rigid way of thinking to our approach to meet new people, even through technology – despite the endless possibilities.
In the absence of explicit rules, we tend to fall back on stereotypical methods that are supposed to be infallible. Introductions to textbooks and conversations about school life and careers are safe and not offensive, which gently sets us in motion.
But these methods don’t steer the wheels of the conversation for you. There are only a few questions you can ask before this sounds like a job interview.
While it is perfectly fine to talk about your studies and work, all you have to do is close-finished and short answers. Linking to the experiences and passions of the other party can help you better understand the person you are talking to.
If I had a dollar from every conversation that fades into silence, like ellipses stretching out into the depths of nature, I would be very rich.