A Little Orgasm November 27, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: chastity lifestyle, chastity outcomes, key holder, Keyheld, orgasm vacation
Ab had an orgasm yesterday (Friday) morning. It wasn’t planned but it wasn’t entirely unexpected, at least for me. I sort of figured that when we hit the “100 Days of Chastity” anniversary (which occurred on Tuesday) that an orgasm was imminent. When the time seemed to be right, I’d let him go. Yesterday turned out to be the day.
Part of my thinking about not having a specific date was to not repeat the problem from last month of over-hyped expectations. I figured we’d keep it low-key, which we did, and it turned out to be perfectly fine event. Ab had a nice erection (more evidence that that problem is solved). He used the vibrator on me first then finished off the job with Little Ab. It was quite pleasant. If I don’t sound terribly enthusiastic, it is only because I have the lingering remnants of the worst cold in the world hanging around in my body. I am still only at about 80% functioning so all my pleasure centers are a little bit dimmed. It was only two days ago that I started tasting food again.
Ab is still out of his device and demonstrating some of that post-orgasmic feistiness that I don’t particularly care for. I expected him to lock up after his shower yesterday but he didn’t. In fact, it’s Saturday morning and he is off at work for a few hours—unlocked. Now, to be fair, we do have some extenuating circumstances, including the holiday, a houseful of young people, crazy schedules and worst of all: he seems to have caught my cold. I know I should cut him some slack on being locked up. Still, I do get anxious when his device is in my underwear drawer and not on his cock where it belongs.
Why do I get anxious? Don’t I trust him on the honor system? Actually, I do, especially now that he’s had an orgasm. Going off and masturbating is not my worry at this moment—in fact, I know that activity is a very remote possibility right now. The issue is that I like him being locked up. Wearing a device is very symbolic to me, which I have mentioned before. Like a wedding ring, it’s visible evidence of our chaste lives. I had the key on my nipple ring (which I am missing right now). It hasn’t been on my nipple ring for a few weeks, since we came to our key-access agreement. For that reason, I have been thinking about a tattoo, but I haven’t completely made up my mind. That aside, I’m happier and more settled when Ab is wearing his Jailbird or Watchful Mistress. I hope he puts it on this afternoon after his shower.
Either way, I figure that for this weekend, I am not going to make a fuss. Things will get back to normal in a few days. Hopefully he won’t be hit with the same virulent strain of this cold that I was and won’t be knocked quite as low as me (10 days and counting for me right now). I am looking forward to getting back to being locked, teasing, and spanking. In other words, the new normal.
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Just another reminder of the new blog: Keyheld: Chastity Resources for Lovers. Tom Allen has done a great job pulling this together in just a few days. I find it very convenient to look and see which blogs have updated in the past 24 hours or so. He also has a list of other resources that should be useful for folks interested in chastity—whether newcomers or seasoned hands. If you have a blog and would like to be added to the list, go to the “About Us” page and send Tom a message. He’ll sign you right up. If you have suggestions for other resources, let Tom know that too. Thanks in advance for your support and help!
The Weekend October 18, 2010Posted by Dev in Devices, Musings.
Tags: chastity outcomes, Jailbird, male chastity, orgasm vacation
I suspect many are waiting with bated breath to hear how our big release weekend went. Well, I could say that we had wild sex for 48 hours straight and we were peeling the paint off the walls in the process.
But if I said that, I’d be lying and I don’t want to lie to my friends.
The truth is, things didn’t go quite the way I expected.
I think we had a mix of real-life interfering with our plans plus some unrealistic expectations on my part. Real-life included Ab being very stressed about work, having to work both Saturday and Sunday, and on top of all that, he was fighting a cold. My expectations were that we would have unending wild sex with 100% attention paid to me, Queen of the household.
Sounds like a setup for disaster, doesn’t it? Fortunately, things weren’t that bad.
The Jailbird did come off, as scheduled, at 6 pm on Friday evening. The evening then proceeded as usual—dinner, conversation, me fooling around on the computer. Ab went to bed early because he was exhausted. He immediately went sound to sleep and didn’t budge when I came to bed about an hour later. He did wake up around 2:30 am, we had rather average, run-of-the-mill sex (with an orgasm for him, yes) after which he went right back to sleep. No orgasm for me and the experience left me feeling a little confused and frustrated. As I lay awake thinking about it, I reflected on “old” sex (the pre-chastity kind) and “new” sex (when he’s wearing a device). Our experience at 2:30 am was definitely of the old sex variety and I wasn’t too happy about that.
Saturday he worked all day long and got home around 4:30 pm. I was annoyed and he knew it. Yes, I was feeling sorry for myself and being a pill about it—I’ll own my bad mood. Probably I was being a little ridiculous, too—I knew he had to work. This wasn’t a big surprise. It was just that I was expecting something—something other than what I was getting. See “unrealistic expectations” above.
At some point before dinner, Ab made the sort of off-hand suggestion that perhaps he should just put the Jailbird back on. It would relieve the performance pressure, he said, plus he really wasn’t in the mood for sex, given that he was tired, stressed, and not feeling great, what with all the sneezing and so on.
I didn’t need to be asked twice. I whisked into the bathroom, grabbed the Jailbird and within two minutes that sucker was back on Ab’s cock, right where it belonged. As I clicked the lock I felt safe. Secure. Comfortable.
I felt in charge.
My bad mood immediately evaporated and we had a very pleasant evening, complete with watching a movie (Duck Soup, with the Marx Brothers) followed by wild “new” sex wherein I got vibrated to four orgasms (!) and Ab made all those wonderful groans of frustration that I have come to love.
Who is this dominant woman? Is this really me? I haven’t discussed the whole dominant/submissive thing here in the blog (although Ab and I have talked about it) because I didn’t think that was part of our dynamic. But now I am beginning to wonder.
Sunday he had to work again but managed to get home by about 1:30. He watched some football, we took a nap, we had a nice dinner and ended up going to bed early-ish, anticipating another busy week. I gave him a little “caged in metal” ball massage, we spooned in the night (I love the feel of the cage against my ass) but that was about it. Still, it was enough.
And so that’s where we are. The JB is on and locked. For how long—I have no idea. I haven’t figured that part out yet. I do think we had been building to this point for many weeks and setting ourselves up to expect too much. I think that is something I need to re-think as we play the game. I also need to get a more accurate understanding from Ab about what he thinks and expects from his own orgasm so I can put my thinking more in line with his. I do think we had some mixed signals crossing the wires and I fully accept my part of the blame for that.
I do appreciate the many supportive comments I have gotten from friends, which have been very helpful in keeping me from having a giant brain explosion this weekend. Thanks, everyone! And this bit of very wise advice from Thumper: “Playing around with orgasm control can be really f’ing hard.” Ain’t it the truth!
Naked Cock Playtime October 14, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: chastity lifestyle, male chastity, orgasm vacation
One of the things I am looking forward to for this weekend is having some naked cock playtime. I have mentioned before that I love the velvety feel of cock skin and I am looking forward to having that in my hand (and mouth ). Except for a brief release for some playing back in August (I think), Ab’s cock has been more or less locked continuously since the Birdcage first went on on August 16th. Now he is in the Jailbird and I can feel a little touch of skin between the bars, but it is as much a tease for me as it is for Ab. When he was in the CB-6000s, I didn’t even have that little touch.
For this first go-round, we’ve been playing the game as “locked means locked” and thus time out of the device has been brief and limited to certain specific activities—mostly bathing when he was in the CB, and comfort breaks when he was in the large Birdcage. The Jailbird arrived two weeks ago today (September 30th) and has been locked on continuously since that day. We haven’t experimented with out-of-the-device teasing.
Apropos of this, the other day, Ab was asking about the ideas of edging and ruined orgasm. We both agree that we’ve never consciously brought him to a ruined orgasm and he has no memory of it ever happening in his life, even with a lover before me. He’s a little intrigued about what it would be like. He is also interested in edging, another thing we haven’t really done, since that also seems to require a naked cock to be effective. In fact, a lot of the teasing techniques I’ve read about seem to require a man to be out of his device. This time, we’ve been pretty committed to keep the device on, come hell or high water. I think Ab is already beginning to anticipate his next lock-up and wondering if we can take it to the next level of variety and entertainment in the non-orgasm excitement department.
Speaking of his next lock-up, I’ve relaxed the rules slightly for this weekend’s release. I originally said that the Jailbird would come off on Friday at 6 pm and go back on Sunday at 6 pm (48 hours). I’ve changed that to the requirement he must be back in the device and locked by the time he leaves for work on Monday morning (usually 6 am). So he could get an extra 12 hours of release. I figure if we both want to have fun on Sunday night, why limit ourselves? Ab has already told me he wants a “trifecta of sex” which he has defined as blowjob, vaginal intercourse, and anal intercourse. In my mind, this weekend is all about him so if we need an extra night to fit all the fun in, fine with me.
I was also pleased to see he is anticipating his next lock-up and seems to be mildly excited—at least he is not downright dreading it! Things are a little complicated right now because he has suddenly gotten very busy at work and I think our chastity game is the last thing on his mind during the day. Within that context, how long he is going to be locked-up after this weekend is not high on his list of personal worries. Besides, he knows I have the key and I will be making the decision independent of what he may tell me he wants or thinks he can express to me as a wish.
The busy-ness at work has me down a little bit, too, since he is thinking he’ll need to work all day Saturday and Sunday. I was hoping for some special together time—going out to lunch, sex in the middle of the day—and now I am not sure that will happen. Oh well, not too big a deal. I’m sure we’ll still have plenty of fun.
Anyway, back to the “locked means locked” idea—I am wondering how others are playing the game. I have some sense from various blogs and posts at the Chastity Forum, but I’d enjoy more comments. Do men get out for tease and denial? How often? How is that done? I am just curious and like to catalog more experiences, so that we all may learn.
I look forward to reading the comments!
Quotes from Ab: VIII September 19, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings, Quotes from Ab.
Tags: key holder, male chastity, orgasm denial, orgasm vacation
Not really a quote, but he sent this to me yesterday:
My poll: I had about 500 views at the site yesterday and so far, 26 people have voted in the poll, which is a 5.2% response rate. The poll is still open so please feel free to add your 2 cents. . A short release (less than 6 hours) has garnered the most votes so far (n = 9; 35%). My current thinking is that Ab will have a short-ish release, probably no more than 24 hours. But I am going to let him orgasm as many times as he wants in that period. I am very curious about how this all works out.
Getting Out: Poll I September 18, 2010Posted by Dev in Polls.
Tags: male chastity, orgasm vacation
In a few days, it will be five weeks that Ab has been locked in a chastity device, more or less continuously. He’s had a few brief vacations, his interludes in the shower for cleaning, and his rebellious day when he didn’t wear it at work. But he tells me, and I believe him, that he hasn’t had an orgasm since August 15th, despite having a few times when he had the opportunity.
The selected date for his orgasm is October 9th, three weeks from now. We seem to be on track to still have that as a goal. I thought about an earlier release but Ab is doing well and we seemed to have come to a better understanding of our chastity game after our argument at the beginning of the week. Delivery of the Jailbird may change the game plan, however, as I may decide to let the CB come off, have a rollicking good time, and then lock him up again in his brand-spanking-new shiny metal device. We’ll see.
Thinking about this though, has brought up another question in my mind. How long does he get to stay out of his device during his orgasm vacation? If you go back to the very first post on his blog (here’s a link), you’ll remember that I became interested in chastity from a story that I read. In that one, Friday night was release and orgasm night, but once they were done he was locked right back up. In that case, his vacation was very brief, just a few hours.
Having read quite a bit since then, I have come to learn there is quite a bit of variation on this point. Thumper recently wrote that he was out for a week around the time of his birthday. Sarah and John sound like they have a few days—a weekend—and then John gets locked back up when they go back to work on Monday. Atone posted on the Male Chastity Forum that he was begging his wife to put his device back on after four days.
Because I am curious, I’ve created a poll and I’d appreciate if folks could take a minute to vote. Comments are also welcome. I am thinking about Ab’s release and I want to make it special and fun. More than special, I want him to have the most mind-blowing, toe-curling orgasm that he’s had in a long, long time. That’s the incentive to get back in the device, right? But what’s the interval…a few hours? A day? A week?
I look forward to your responses.