Monthly Orgasm Glass Round-Up April 8, 2011Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: chastity outcomes, female orgasm, male chastity, orgasm denial, orgasm glass
Just to refresh everyone’s memory and bring us up-to-date, here is the inventory of the coins in the orgasm glass:
January: 94 cents with 2 quarters, 1 dime, 5 nickels, and 8 pennies
February: 57 cents with 1 quarter, 5 nickels, and 7 pennies
March: 49 cents with 1 quarter, 1 Franc, 3 nickels, and 9 pennies
March was notable because that was the first month with a Franc for a ruined orgasm. It preceded the quarter-worthy real orgasm by about 20 minutes. I wasn’t sure if Ab would be up for it (pun intended) but he met and exceeded all my expectations. His too.
April has started off spectacularly well with back-to-back dime-earning multiple orgasmic experiences for me. It was nice to discover that Ab’s not the only man out there who is extremely effective at wielding a Hitachi. This is a definite skill that all men, especially chaste men, should have in their sexual repertoire. Believe me, the women in your lives will thank you for it.
As Predicted… February 28, 2011Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: female orgasm, just for fun, orgasm glass
or perhaps as hoped for, another nickel went into the orgasm glass this morning, making the total for the month 57 cents. And it’s snowing again!
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Congratulations to Colin Firth for a well-deserved Oscar for Best Actor, playing King George VI in The King’s Speech. I thought he should have won last year for his role in A Single Man (also playing a character named George!) but this is typical for the Academy–always a year late and a statuette short. (Don’t get me started on Heath Ledger!) My best to Mr. Firth for an honor rightfully earned.
The Winter Doldrums February 27, 2011Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: chastity lifestyle, female orgasm, orgasm denial, orgasm glass, winter doldrums
It’s official. I am experiencing an advanced case of cabin fever accompanied by severe winter doldrums. It snowed on Friday and it is snowing again today. The world is white, the sky is white–the only color is an olive-green pine tree in the backyard and our blue station wagon in the driveway. I am sick of winter! I am sick of walking gingerly, not knowing if there are icy patches under the snow. I am sick of clearing snow off the car every time I go outside. I am sick of wearing boots, heavy socks, hats, and gloves. I am sick of all of it!
My outdoor shower seems like a distant memory, as does my deck and my porch. Did I really tie Ab to a chair on the porch and tickle him with an ostrich feather? That seems like it was a few lifetimes past–or at least three chastity devices ago. LOL.
As I was surfing the web to find the picture I used above, I came up with a wide variety of cures for the winter doldrums. Some appeal, others not so much. In no particular order:
- Bake some “Kick Winter’s Ass Lemon Bars.” These sound really good. I just sent the recipe to Ab.
- Attend a film festival. That would work if we had a film festival occurring locally. Instead, we may go to the movies.
- Take a bible study class. Uh, I don’t think so. Not my cup of tea.
- Look at pictures of naked men. Um, yes, this is more in line with my way of thinking. Interestingly, I don’t see many suggestions for looking at pictures of naked women. What’s up with that? Guys don’t get cabin fever?
- Buy a meat grinder for the Kitchen Aid mixer and grind some meat. ??? Whatever floats your boat, I suppose.
- Have a party.
- Dress up in silly costumes.
- Turn the party into a costume contest.
- Soak in the hot tub. That would work if we still had a hot tub….
- Read a good book. Actually, I am doing that. The sixth book in Jordan Castillo Price’s PsyCop series just came out: GhosTV. I have been eagerly waiting for this ever since I buzzed through all the other books in the series last April. I am struggling between reading this book as fast as I can and trying to draw it out and make it last. That’s part of the reason I took a break to write this blog post.
- Write a blog post. Check.
- Email an old friend.
- Call an old friend.
- Clean the oven. Not for me but this is what Ab is doing!
- Balance the checkbook. Pay bills. Seriously? This is supposed to cheer me up? LOL.
- Get distracted from writing the blog post and read an article in Time on sex addiction.
- Remind yourself that spring is only 22 days away…on the calendar, at least.
* * * * *
Okay, so now we know from the sex addiction article that men, on average, have three orgasms a week. Ha, that’s what they think! Time for a quick check in the orgasm glass since it’s practically the end of the month.
Last month (January) there was 93 cents: 2 quarters, 1 dime, 5 nickels and 8 pennies. This month the inventory is:
- 1 quarter (an orgasm in the cage for Ab)
- 4 nickels
- 7 pennies
52 cents. Not quite as much activity as last month but then this is a shorter month–and we’re suffering from the winter doldrums. And there are still 36 hours before March officially arrives. Anything can happen in that amount of time, right?
* * * * *
Time for a glass of wine, I think, and more PsyCop reading. In the comments, please share your sure-fire cures for cabin fever. I’d like to know what works for all of you. Have at it!
Quotes From Ab: XV February 9, 2011Posted by Dev in Quotes from Ab.
Tags: chastity outcomes, female orgasm, male chastity, orgasm denial
Our Sexual Evolution February 7, 2011Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: chastity lifestyle, chastity outcomes, female orgasm, orgasm denial, Sarah Jameson
Back in August, when we started on our chastity journey, one of the first things I did was read Sarah Jameson’s book, Be Careful What You Wish For. It’s a good book and I certainly recommend it, as I said in this review. One concept that was new to me, however, and which Sarah discussed quite a bit, was the idea of tease and denial.
I can hear you snickering now. “You didn’t know about teasing?”
Well, of course I did. The thing is, I called that foreplay. And foreplay needed to be followed by middleplay and endplay. In other words, we’d do lots of teasing but eventually we got to the main event: intercourse. I had orgasms on a somewhat inconsistent basis. For a long time Ab always did get to come but as I have related, in recent years that was a problem—one that became more apparent as we started in with chastity.
So, I had to reframe my thinking around tease and denial.
Once I discovered that Ab’s mantra, “Your pleasure is my pleasure” was true, I started getting selfish. I’d tease him and make him moan and groan, but every single sexual encounter had to end with me having an orgasm. And it was pretty great. I’d hazard a guess that I had more orgasms from September through January (five months) than I had in the previous five years.
Maybe I overdid it or got a little punch drunk from the experience, but things seem to be shifting here in February.
We’re still having lots of sex but I am realizing it’s okay for me to be teased, too. I don’t have to get all the way to orgasm. In fact, here it is, February 7th and so far, only a nickel has gone into the orgasm glass this month. But I am still having lots of fun and getting teased and feeling all tingly and hot all over. I am not complaining about the lack of orgasms but realizing that it seems to be a shift in the way we do things in bed.
(I find I am also fantasizing a lot more about spanking Ab and getting myself really hot with that idea.)
The other day, I downloaded and read the sample of Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow by Marnia Robinson. I am not sure I am going to buy the book and read the whole thing because frankly, it seems like one of those books that has one basic idea that is repeated ad infinitum for 400+ pages. (Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá had the same problem, which is why I gave up reading that about one-third of the way in. But I digress.) Anyway, Robinson’s thesis is that what we typically engage in is procreative, that is, orgasmic sex. She advocates, instead, bonding-based sex which is non-orgasmic but still mutually satisfying. Bonding-based sex is advantageous because it alters the release of various hormones and chemicals in our bodies which in turn affects our mood. Kelmag wrote a very good synopsis of all of this on his blog which you can read here; Robinson and her husband Gary maintain a website called Reuniting where they also expound on their ideas.
Living with a mostly non-orgasmic man for the past six months, I can certainly see changes in his demeanor which may very well be the result of internal biochemical changes. The thing that is surprising to me is that I suddenly seem to be moving in the same direction—or at least okay with the idea. That’s a change that has occurred and been noticeable to me in the past week or so.
Is this a true shift or just the by-product of a long winter with a serious case of cabin fever? Who knows. Time will tell.
The thing that is interesting to me as I move through this process is that I am having a greater awareness of how different activities, such as spanking, can be intensely erotic. I didn’t completely understand that before but my mind is opening more to these experiences as part of our sexual repertoire.
Comments, as always, are welcome particularly because this is area I am still working through in my mind and I suspect I will be revisiting within the blog.
Visiting the Orgasm Glass January 30, 2011Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: chastity lifestyle, chastity outcomes, female orgasm, international visitors, orgasm glass
Since we are almost at the end of the month, I decided to do an inventory of the coins in the orgasm glass. Ninety-three cents in all, distributed as follows:
- Two quarters (those were Ab’s birthday orgasms)
- One dime
- Five nickels
- Eight pennies
A total of fourteen orgasms for me in thirty days which works out (roughly) to one every other day. Actually, we tend to go in spurts—three days in a row, perhaps, with a break of two days, then two in a row. More or less although these days it’s definitely more for me.
Because I like things neat and tidy, it would be nice to get to an even 100 cents (one dollar) by the end of the month. There are 36 hours left until February 1st. Since we both have to work tomorrow, the possibility of 7 penny orgasms between now and then is pretty remote. But two for a nickel each might be doable, or a nickel and two pennies. We could shoot for a dime but as you can see from the numbers above, those are rare.
I wonder how many quarters will be in the glass at the end of February?
Observant readers might have noticed that I added a flag counter to the blog on Friday. WordPress gives statistics about pageviews and referring sources, but nothing about where visitors come from and I was curious about that. I discovered Flag Counter, signed up for an account and voilà! It’s a little amazing just how international my audience is. It took just 36 hours to log a visitor from all 50 US states and the District of Columbia. In addition to the US, I have visitors from 44 other countries. US visitors are the most frequent (not surprising) followed by the United Kingdom, Canada, Germany, the Netherlands, Australia, Italy, France, Sweden, and New Zealand rounding out the top ten.
To everyone reading this, no matter where you are from: Welcome and thanks for dropping by. I appreciate your interest in my thoughts and thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
Hugs to all,
When You Are Struggling With Denial January 25, 2011Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: chastity lifestyle, chastity outcomes, female orgasm, orgasm denial
This is for the ladies. When you are struggling with denial, have an “Ah-ha!” moment like I did this morning.
I have mentioned before that Ab used to wake up and masturbate next to me while I pretended to be asleep. How often did this happen? He says it was much less frequent than what I remember. Certainly not daily and maybe as rare as every week or two. Then he had his solo sessions in front of his computer, which were also on an “as needed” basis.
Compare that to now. He wakes up at 4 am. He turns into me, I shift position and he latches onto my breast. Oh, God how we both love suckling! That sets the mood, brings us slowly to consciousness. I reach for his cock, feeling the metal of his Watchful Mistress that is warm from a night of sleeping. I squeeze and caress, feeling the thickening and engorging in his scrotum. His hand drifts to my pussy and begins to play. How long does this go on? It depends on our mood, how early it is, and what the day ahead holds for us. Some days we both get edged and leave it there. But most days, the Hitachi comes out and I start my day with a lovely orgasm.
How often does this happen? At least three or four times a week.
Now, ask yourself: what would any red-blooded, living, breathing, sentient male prefer? A solo masturbation session maybe once or twice a week culminating in a spurt, or making love to a warm, soft, sensuous woman three for four times a week with orgasm denied? I think (correct me if I’m wrong, guys) that the latter is definitely more appealing.
Ladies, every time you struggle with orgasm denial, remember this.
And, remember this text message that I just received:
When I give you an orgasm in the morning, I end up horny all day.
* * * * *
I passed a milestone yesterday: 100,000 pageviews of the blog! And today is my five month anniversary—I posted my first post on August 25, 2010. I am remembering the hot weather and sitting on my porch with the computer. Now it is cold (very cold) and snowy. But, five months from now it will be summer, warm, I’ll be on the porch and I suspect—we’ll still be chaste. “Ain’t no reins on this one,” as Ennis Del Mar has famously said.
Thanks to everyone who supports the blog by reading, commenting, and subscribing. I am so glad you are interested in the journey that Ab and I am on and I thank you for your gift of time and trust.
Hugs to all,
From the Mailbag: VII January 20, 2011Posted by Dev in Correspondence, Devices.
Tags: chastity lifestyle, female orgasm, vibrator
I received a nice email from Wilson—folks might remember his name, he’s the guy who won the Humbler in my limerick contest. He had a comment for my I am Addicted to Faking Orgasms post but for some strange reason, he couldn’t post it. I checked and comments are allowed so who knows what the glitch is. Anyway, rather than posting the comment on the post itself (which is several months old at this point) I thought I’d share it here because it was interesting. Without further ado:
I got here from your Birthday Wrap-Up post, so I’m a little late to the party, but isn’t that a great thing about blogs: the party is still going on!
Anyway, I have a couple of thoughts about this post:
First, regarding orgasm ability and the variation thereof among women:
I highly recommend the book Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach.
At the start of one chapter, she recounts a fascinating story of how Princess Marie Bonaparte (great grand-niece of Napoleon) had trouble orgasming. She suspected the problem (or part of it) stemmed from the fact that her clitoris was three inches from her vaginal opening.
However, rather than just superstitiously going ahead and believing that, she tried to find out scientifically: she measured the clit-to-vagina distance of many (hundreds of?) women and compared that to their ability to orgasm through intercourse (and perhaps other ways – my memory is hazy).
I realize you’ve come (or are coming) to grips with your own situation in this regard, and I think that’s fabulous. I think you might still enjoy that story (and the rest of the book). There’s another good part, in which the author convinces her husband to have sex with her in a big scanner for some sex researchers.
Secondly, regarding The Joy of Sex:
Wow, did that cover bring back some memories! My parents had that book—my dad probably bought it—and from that (and his collection of issues of Penthouse Variations*), I had a pretty good—and very liberal!—sex education, despite the efforts of the public school system to give me a bad one**.
One of the best things about The Joy of Sex, in my opinion—and I know this isn’t to everyone’s taste—is that in the (many!) illustrations, the woman is drawn unshaved … all over! Okay, I don’t think the artist drew leg hair, but both her pussy and armpits are magnificently bushy.
It’s bad enough that US women have been shaving their armpits for almost a century (spurred on, I once read, by some product advertisement that, even then, managed to make women feel self-conscious about their natural bodies!), but the recent trend to have clean-shaven pudenda everywhere drives me to despair! (And don’t even get me started on the whole idea of labiaplasty!)
* This was back in the 80s, then that magazine hadn’t yet been watered down and could still be a big turn-on.
** And, to be truthful, despite my father’s efforts to hide his porn collection.
Thank you, Wilson! At one point, I had the sample for Bonk on my Kindle but somehow it got deleted. I am going to get it again and likely read it—I’ve heard about that book for awhile and it sounds like the type of thing I like. I really enjoyed Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by the same author.
As for the clean shaven versus hairy look: well, we’ll just have to agree to disagree on that one.
* * * * *
The SaSi arrived yesterday. My preliminary review: slightly disappointed. Maybe I have dulled my nerves endings with my use of the Hitachi over the years, but the SaSi just didn’t seem to have much oomph. We’ll keep trying, of course—persistence is a key word here in the Devoted Lover Research Labs. Maybe I just haven’t figured out the right way to hold it, or something. I’ll report back after more extensive testing.
No See the SaSi January 15, 2011Posted by Dev in Devices, Musings.
Tags: female orgasm, holiday, vibrator
My big Christmas present was supposed to be a SaSi programmable vibrator. Ab had ordered it in plenty of time but unfortunately, it was out of stock and didn’t make it in time for a December 25th delivery. The projected ship date was January 10th, then January 15th. Now we’ve just gotten an email that it continues to be back-ordered for several more weeks. They aren’t even giving us an anticipated ship date this time.
This is a disappointment because this thing sounds fabulous. From the description at the Blowfish website:
Quite possibly this reviewer’s new favorite toy of all time, the SaSi Programmable Vibrator is the next generation of sex toys. Shaped like any discreet, somewhat egg-shaped clit vibe, the SaSi is more than just a vibrator. A small nub on the bottom of the toy pokes up under a soft silicone sheath. Turn it on and this nub starts moving — in semi-circles, up-and-down, in circles, in swoops. Pressed against your clit, it feels remarkably like someone else has a gentle-but-firm finger down your panties, fingering you in a myriad of wonderful ways. Each movement lasts only a short while, but if you like what its doing, you can hit the middle button to tell it “Don’t stop!” and it will obey like a real lover (well, like a real, obedient lover). Best of all, the SaSi learns what you like when you do this, making it better and better able to get you off.
Can’t get off from rubbing alone? No worries, it’s also a vibrator, and you can control how hard it vibes by pressing up or down. Or you can choose not to have vibrations at all. But the additional vibrations make it feel like there’s a vibrating finger down your panties, which adds just enough oomph! to make this toy unlike anything you’ve ever experienced.
Does anyone out there have one of these? Does it live up to the hype? We’re trying to decide if we should cancel the order and try to buy it somewhere else or just wait patiently for it to show up. Ab is leaning towards the latter because he does like doing business with Blowfish. Maybe it will be here for Valentine’s Day…
An Apple a Day… December 18, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: chastity lifestyle, female orgasm, male chastity, women and chastity
…keeps the doctor away. And an orgasm in the morning can do wonders to put me in the right frame of mind to face the world head-on.
I love early morning sex. After a good night’s sleep I’m relaxed, warm and cuddly in my bed. What better time to have my husband devour me—worship me—with his hands and his tongue?
In the old days, ie, pre-chastity, Ab would often wake up in the morning and masturbate next to me while I pretended to be asleep. Those days are long gone, thank God, and if I have anything to say about it, they will never return. Now the scenario is that he gets up to use the toilet, then comes back to bed. He spoons against me, rubbing his caged cock against my ass. Yes, I like the feel of metal rubbing up against me. What can I say? I pretend he’s my knight in shining armor. Hey, I admitted the other day that I am the Queen. Every Queen deserves a knight, don’t you think?
After a few minutes of spooning, I wake up enough to turn over and snuggle in. My hand drifts down to his balls for a nice massage. I really love doing this. I feel his balls fill and become heavy and engorged in my hand. It’s such a hot feeling that I never noticed or paid attention to before. Meanwhile, Ab gets to feast on the part of me he loves best—my breasts—and we just go from there.
Having sex—making love—in our “new world order” is definitely not one-sided or non-reciprocal as it seems to be for some chaste couples, at least from what I have read. We are very much about pleasuring each other: Our pleasure is our shared mutual pleasure as I like to say over and over again.
We don’t get to do this every morning, of course. Some mornings Ab sneaks off before the crack of dawn and I don’t get a chance for a quick ball massage. On those mornings I feel cheated. I have really tried to attune myself to his earliest stirrings and even at my sleepiest, try to sneak my hand out for a quick rub-rub-rub, at a minimum. It’s all about paying attention to my chaste male, after all, and keeping him happy to be locked and not deprived. Well, deprived of orgasm, I suppose, but not denied heaping doses of love, affection, and stimulation of his entire body, not just his cock.
Back to the orgasmic mornings. We move in close, caressing, touching. I’ve noticed that with his cock denied, Ab seems to be more sensitive in his other erogenous zones, especially his nipples and perineum. So, while I’m thinking about it (we usually get to a point where not much thinking is going on!) I try to focus my attention on those areas.
Eventually, he seems to crest (as opposed to orgasm) and I become the center of the action. I’ve learned to become selfish and just drink it all in because, oh my God, it’s all about me and it’s fabulous. I have my O (yesterday an 8, today a 9) and then we enjoy the post-coital glow.
For a couple of old kinksters, we really do have great sex.
Snuggling generally gets cut short by the dog who, at this point, is usually demanding some attention. I suppose that is one drawback to early morning sex. But really, it’s a small price to pay for such intimacy and closeness which truly, sets me on the right path to cope with whatever the day may throw at me.
* * * * *
Speaking of throwing, I asked Ab this morning what it feels like when I massage his cock in his Watchful Mistress. He thought for a second and then said, “Like making out with a catcher’s mask on.” Then he said, “I am sure I’ll be reading that in print later today.” Here you go, darling. I am never one to disappoint you!