Quotes from Ab: XVI February 20, 2011Posted by Dev in Quotes from Ab.
Tags: fetish, spanking
“I should have never have made those things for you!”
The Abuddies (I have a matched set now) got a nice little workout last night. We had a quiet evening at home with a nice dinner and then doing what we usually do: watching a movie on Netflix, surfing the web. Ab fell asleep in his recliner and I eventually woke him up. “C’mon you,” I said. “Time for a little fun.”
I wanted Ab over my knee and that’s where he started. But the minute his bum got a little pink, he started squirming around, which means I have to keep after him. If he’d just stay put I’d keep swatting his hiney, but with all his wiggling, he got abuddied in other places, like his shoulders and thighs. “Please stop! Please stop!” (Our safeword, darling, if you remember is ‘Abigail,’ not ‘stop.’) He clearly has a very low pain threshold. When I watch videos of guys getting flogged or caned until they bleed, I just shake my head. We barely get to bright pink! LOL.
I might have to get some restraints and something to restrain him to, too. I like the “bow bench” that Ms. Marie had her husband build for her. I put in a work order for something similar to the production office but funny thing, it hasn’t appeared yet. I might have to have a talk with the foreman.
I posted this picture in my tumblr gallery but I thought I’d share here, too. I like the contrasts. The blue pj’s look like they have Oreos floating around on them. I can’t quite tell what’s on the pink ones. Horseshoes? Then my eye drifts down and I see the wrist restraints and shackles on his legs. HAWT!
Quotes From Ab: XV February 9, 2011Posted by Dev in Quotes from Ab.
Tags: chastity outcomes, female orgasm, male chastity, orgasm denial
Quotes from Ab: XIV December 11, 2010Posted by Dev in Quotes from Ab.
Tags: chastity lifestyle, kinky
“Since I’ve started wearing a cock cage, I’ve become a tit-loving, pussy-worshipping, collar-wearing acolyte of Dev.”
Need I say more?
Re: the collar–I haven’t mentioned that before. We’ve had one around here for years that we’ve used for playtime and it has spent time on both our necks. But it’s been making a more frequent appearance in recent weeks, and Ab is always the one who is wearing it…
Quotes from Ab: XIII November 7, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings, Quotes from Ab.
Tags: John Cusack, key holder
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“Can you please hold the keys?”
Ab hates having clunky, heavy things in his pocket so when we go out together to do errands or whatever, he always asks me to carry the car keys in my purse. Yesterday when we were out to lunch with our daughter was no exception. He hopped out of the car and handed over the keys. As I took them I gave him a sweet smile. “Of course dear,” I said. “I am happy to be your keyholder.”
Our daughter, a movie fanatic, never misses a beat with a movie reference or quote. “Cue John Cusack and the boombox,” she said. “Say Anything.”
“In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel,” I replied. “But what does that have to with being a keyholder?”
“The scene at the beginning of the movie,” she replied. “At the party—Lloyd ends up being the keyholder with the bag of keys.”
I couldn’t find a screen cap from that scene, but here’s the famous boombox one. A bit of John Cusack trivia: he’s never had a naked chest scene. Ah, what a waste of manflesh.
Have a great Sunday, everyone. For those who must, I hope you remembered to change your clocks!
Quotes from Ab: XII October 30, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings, Quotes from Ab.
Tags: chastity lifestyle, chastity outcomes, female led relationship
“You know, we have a wife-led relationship,” Ab said the other day.
“We do?” I replied.
He looked at me like I was a dummy. “Of course we do,” he said. “Think about it.”
So I thought about it.
He is right, of course. From the very beginning of our marriage—in fact, it probably started when we were dating and I took over his checkbook—I’ve been in charge. When we were first married, we rented a house that didn’t have a washer and dryer and so we had to go to the laundromat, a chore I never particularly enjoyed. He took that on without much discussion. We also only had one car. For me to get to work would have required a walk to the subway, then riding on the bus and then another walk to get to the hospital. I know, I know, thousands of people do this every day but getting up at 5 am to be at work by 8 didn’t particularly appeal to me, so Ab offered to be my chauffeur. I happily accepted.
Some might say, “You were newlyweds. Of course he was going to be super-nice in those days.” Maybe that’s true but super-nice never stopped.
Over the years, more chores and tasks have become his responsibility. We had cleaning people for quite a few years but when we documented a few incidents of theft, they had to go. At that time Ab pointed out that he could clean the house and we’d save $150/month. Fine with me.
We bought a John Deere tractor to mow the lawn (we have a big yard) and I liked driving around on it. But he complained about my grass mowing technique and so I said, “Fine. Do it yourself.” And he has, ever since.
Probably the last big chore I handed over was cooking and grocery shopping. This happened in 2006. One, I realized I was bored with cooking after 27 years and two, our daughter is a very picky eater. I was tired of her turning up her nose at everything I made and expecting me to prepare two meals, one for the family and one for her. So, I quit. This wasn’t done with any big fanfare or announcement. I just stopped. I am not sure I consciously even realized I had stopped. It just happened. After a few weeks of eating really strange meals, Ab stepped up to the plate and began to prepare dinner. Soon, he took charge of meal planning and grocery shopping. I bought him a copy of The Joy of Cooking and got a few subscriptions to cooking magazines with about-to-expire frequent flyer miles. (He is especially fond of Everyday Cooking from Martha Stewart. Just FYI.) I cook on occasion and when I do it is a treat for everyone—at least I think it is. LOL. Ab has turned into decent chef who is quite creative in searching out new recipes. Now that our daughter is off at college and he doesn’t try to cater to her food needs, he has gotten even more adventurous. It’s fun for us. (As I type this, he is steaming a lobster for some sort of exotic lobster dish. One advantage of living in New England…)
I have always handled the day-to-day money. The big things—mortgage, car loans, etc., have always been a shared decision but paying the bills? Ab doesn’t have a clue.
The one place where we have had totally shared responsibility is in raising our children. We were both completely invested in this and put in the time and energy required to be parents. And in this day and age—believe me, time required is a lot. But I don’t begrudge one minute we have spent being the very best parents we could possibly be.
My point? This is our life. This is our life for the 32 years we’ve been married plus the 11 months before when we were dating and engaged. I’ve always been in charge. But, up until a few months ago, I never heard the expression “wife led marriage,” “female led relationship,” “femdom,” or any variation thereof. It wasn’t on my radar screen.
The other thing that wasn’t on my radar screen were the accoutrements that seem to go with FLRs (or whatever) as described in various blogs. That is, we don’t have a contract (beyond the one we have specific to chastity that is described here). Ab is not being branded, pierced, beaten, whipped, forced to wear panties, diapers, or a bra; he is not handed a daily list of chores that he must complete and if he doesn’t complete them to my satisfaction, he is punished. That’s not happening in our household. I do not ask him to cook dinner naked (although sometimes he does that on his own but that has more to do with his enjoyment of being nude rather than any sort of subservient role to me). I don’t demand that he do certain things for me—massages, foot rubs, bringing me a glass of wine—but he often does. He does it because he loves me, not because we are in a FLR. And I do things for him for the very same reason.
Now chastity has entered our lives. Did I seek out chastity because I wanted more control or an additional tool for discipline? Absolutely not and regular readers of this blog will know that’s the truth. We discovered chastity as a hot game that intrigued us and one that we have come to learn we both enjoy; the unexpected benefit is that it has brought us enhanced communication and a greater understanding of our lives together. Part of that understanding, I must grudgingly admit, is that I am calling the shots and running the show, ie, a FLR, although I abhor that label and won’t be using it. I only bring it up so that other women and men who might be reading this blog and are trying to sort out what is going on between them can realize that a woman can be strong, confident, and assertive but that does not invariably lead to punishing, diapers, and cuckolding.
Trust me, I know what I am talking about. I have 32 years of experience.
Quotes from Ab: XI September 30, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings, Quotes from Ab.
Tags: chastity, devices, forums, key holder, male chastity, orgasm denial, Thumper, women and chastity
“You can trust me.”
We’re trying something a little different today. In anticipation of the Jailbird’s arrival, Ab is on the honor system and not wearing his CB-6000s. I hope the Jailbird will arrive today and the CB will become a thing of the past. Even if the JB doesn’t arrive until tomorrow, I’m not sure he’s going back into the CB. I was just looking at it and it’s sort of grody. I really don’t like plastic.
I’m the keyholder so it was my decision to take it off. Why? A couple of reasons. One, there’s a thread over at Chastity Forums about the honor system. Many men say they use the honor system and it works—although at times it may require a bit more mental energy than just being locked up. I figure that Ab has 6+ weeks of being locked. He can be on the honor system for a day or two. I want to see how that works.
But second, and more importantly, I want to see if he’s gotten to a place of preferring to be locked. Last night we were talking about my fantasy of having him thank me for being locked. He said he wasn’t sure if that would happen—yet—but he does like wearing his CB and it feels comfortable and natural. Is it so comfortable and natural that that’s the way he wants to be? Dressed for dinner as it were? We’ll see.
Last, the Jailbird is special—a step up, beautiful steel, custom made. Sized just for Ab. I figure that putting something like that on requires a bit of a ceremony. It’s not just a matter of taking off device A and putting on device B. It needs a moment. So I am giving my cock a little vacation until its new outfit arrives.
Of course, even though the lock is off, Ab understands: no orgasms, no touching, no self-stimulation, no masturbation. Hence, “You can trust me.” I know he’ll be reading this so darling, I do trust you. Don’t let me down.
* * * * *
Another comment from Ab was that he really likes the blog and has become a very regular reader, even though the doesn’t comment publicly (he comments to me in private). He says it adds an interesting dimension to our chastity game—he knows exactly what I am thinking and feeling, which gives him additional insight into his own feelings and thoughts.
Many newcomers to chastity do start blogs and this is probably part of the reason why. It’s a nice way to explore something that seems very different—on the surface, putting a lock on your man’s penis does seem a little strange—but as you get into it, you realize it’s not strange at all. Sharing that knowledge, though, seems to part of the process and blogging is the 21st century way to do so.
Thumper made a comment in his blog that most new chastity blogs last an average of 64 days. I’m 36 days in and to become an outlier of his mean, I’d need to get beyond 128 days which would be sometime in mid-January (probably right around Ab’s birthday). Since Ab has committed to the game until at least March, I am in good shape for achieving blogging longevity.
* * * * *
Update on ChastityForums.com: Since being launched on Saturday, Chastity Forums has had a very nice start and currently boasts 66 members. I volunteered to be a mod, telling Thumper that I thought he needed a woman to provide some balance to the men. He readily agreed. I am excited about this. To women who are reading here, please consider coming and joining us, and maybe even making a comment or two. We have a few other keyholders and they seem to be strong, assertive, confident, and most of all—fun. I know there are many reluctant or questioning women out there—the men who email me asking questions or wanting info for their wives confirm this. I keep suggesting that they have their wives read this blog and join the forum. Here’s another open invitation to jump into the game, get your questions answered, and maybe make a few new friends.
And oogle a few good looking guys, too. I’m in charge of the man-candy. . As they say, “Come on in, the water’s fine.”
Quotes from Ab: X September 25, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings, Quotes from Ab.
Tags: clothing, key holder, male chastity, orgasm denial, vibrator
“Aaargh! AAARGH! AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!”
That was Ab at 3 am.
We had an unusual night last night. I wasn’t feeling 100%—my breast is still sore (I think it has to do with where I am in my monthly cycle), sometime during the day I twisted my ankle and it was aching and to top it all off, I smashed my thumb. By 10:30 pm, I was feeling the effects of a long, busy week and was ready to hit the sack.
Ab told me he’d meet me in bed shortly. At 10:53 pm I sent a text message that said, “Come to bed, I want to play with my cock.” To be honest, I don’t even remember sending that message. I think I must have been half-asleep and was just throwing out a little spiciness to remind him that we are still playing the game—even if I wasn’t really in the mood.
Next thing I know, it’s 3 am. No Ab next to me in bed and the house is still lit up like a Christmas tree. This is very odd. Ab and I both like to sleep in bed—not on the couch, not on the recliner. We even take naps in bed. Not having him next to me was strange.
I got up to find out where he was. He had fallen asleep in the easy chair in the kitchen! He was awake now, though. We turned off all the lights, started the dishwasher and went to bed—back to bed for me.
A few hours sleep was enough to take the edge off my aches and pains and suddenly, we were lunging at each other like a pair of demented rabbits. “Aaargh! AAARGH!” shouted Ab, literally at the top of his lungs. “I so fucking want it!” he moaned.
I wasn’t much better. I writhed. I squirmed. I shouted too. Out came the Hitachi Magic Wand—no starting with the Wahl, we went right to the big boy. I was very conscious of the key, which was still next to me on the bedside table. Could I unlock him? I so wanted to feel his velvety cock skin. I knew it would be smooth and hard. I knew his erection would be perfect.
I also knew that if I unlocked him, we’d be fucking, he’d be coming, and that would be that. No ruined orgasm or orgasm denial for for Ab. This would be the real thing.
In the end, it was a moot point. I’m not sure I could’ve gotten the CB unlocked and off, even if I decided that was what I wanted to do. The way we were thrashing around, the last thing I could have accomplished was getting a tiny little key in a tiny little lock and getting the whole contraption off his junk. So, it just stayed.
We shouted some more, got the hormones flowing at top speed and then…puddle time. Ab went to sleep pretty quick. I lay awake for awhile and just enjoyed the afterglow. For a few minutes, I was able to forget my boob, my ankle and my sore thumb. Life was very good in the wee hours of the morning.
* * * * *
Underwear Update: Ab’s underwear arrived on Thursday. First up for review: Calvin Klein Men’s Body Thong
Pros: Very attractive, very comfortable (according to Ab) and well-fitting. Provides good support. He wore it all day without any problems.
Cons: The waistband is a little wide, according to Ab. He said for men who are used to wearing underwear, they might not mind it, but it felt big to him. To me, the logo is quite noticeable (I get tired of designers plastering their name all over everything). That said, it does remind me of Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) in Back to the Future when he was wearing his Calvins, so I guess I don’t mind the logo all that much.
Specs: 100% cotton, machine wash. Purchased from Amazon. Price: $18 (although it is on sale right now for $13.50)
* * * * *
Correction: Yesterday in the blog I wrote that Ab would wake up every morning and masturbate next to me. He took issue with that. “It wasn’t everyday,” he said. “It was more like once a week.”
“Once a week?” I replied. “I don’t think so. I knew what you were doing over there.”
“Yeah, but I wasn’t doing it everyday.”
“Well,” I said, “my recollection is that it was pretty frequent. If not everyday, then maybe every other day.” I paused. “Why didn’t you wake me up, anyway? Why masturbate if I was right next to you. I mean, I was awake.”
“Yes, but you pretended you were asleep.”
“You gave off a vibe you didn’t want to be disturbed.”
Oh. Okay. Things are better now.
The other day I mused about a comment in Cricketed’s blog.
I can’t even imagine masturbating anymore. The idea of it strikes me as ridiculous, to tell the truth.
“Do you feel that way?” I asked Ab.
He shook his head. “No, not at all,” he replied honestly.
“Do you think you could get to that point?”
He paused. “I’m not sure. Maybe? But is that what I want?”
Personally, I think it’s an admirable goal.
* * * * *
One last update: A few weeks ago, Ab said he’d be willing to play this game until at least the end of the year. Last night, he said he’d be willing to play for at least six more months, maybe longer. “I’m having a lot of fun,” he said. “You seem to be having a lot of fun.”
“Oh yes,” I agreed. “I certainly am.”
“But it seems to be better if we play for the long haul.”
This is good. I have a guarantee of at least March.
Quotes from Ab: IX September 24, 2010Posted by Dev in Quotes from Ab.
Tags: chastity lifestyle, chastity outcomes, male chastity, women and chastity
“I love you.” “I missed you today.”
I love you is not so unusual—Ab says that to me quite a bit and I do too. But “I missed you today”? That was a surprise. I don’t hear that very often.
As I have mentioned, I work late on Mondays. Ab always waits to have dinner with me, even if it is around 9 pm. Anyway, this past Monday, as we were eating, “I missed you today” just popped out of his mouth. I was very surprised, and touched. “You missed me?” I said.
He nodded. “Yes…we had had a nice weekend together, went out to lunch, talked a lot…I realized today, I missed you.”
That feeling has gone on through the week, for both of us. It hit me that we are both in a very good emotional place, very loving and affectionate. It is clear that Ab has reached a certain level of sexual frustration and pent-up energy and he is turning all that energy on me. What a powerful and empowering feeling that is! I feel like a bright, hot light is being shined directly on me—sort of like being in the spotlight on stage. He misses me, he wants me, he desires me. I am loving that and because it feels so good, I will do just about anything to keep the feeling going. Little kindnesses, gifts, sexual teasing—it’s all good.
* * * * *
We’ve gotten into a different routine in the morning. Ab has always gotten up before me to go to work (he’s much more of a morning person than I am). Generally he’d wake up at 5 am, masturbate, then get up. I knew what he was up to but I usually pretended to be asleep since his wanking didn’t involve me. And why didn’t it involve me? There’s a question I never asked.
Now, I let him know I am awake. We cuddle, we kiss. I have discovered I really love giving him an early morning ball massage, complete with groans of frustration. If the vibrator makes an appearance, that’s a bonus for me, but it doesn’t have to. I fantasize about unlocking him but I don’t actually do it because we have a goal. Then, after 15 or 20 minutes, he gets up and I stay in bed, enjoying the tingly afterglow. I think this is a very good way to start the day, much better than having an alarm blaring in your ear and waking you from a deep, sound sleep. A gradual rise to consciousness with affectionate loving is much better for our nervous systems and emotional health, in my opinion.
And then, I am ready to start my day, too.
* * * * *
The key is off my nipple ring, at least for the moment.
It started off on the right side, then a few weeks ago, I switched it to the left. My left nipple has always been the more tender and temperamental one so after a week or ten days, it was feeling a little sore, thus the key got switched back to the right. Now the right one is feeling sore—but not in the same way. It’s sort of like I feel a bruise in my breast. That was alarming and not particularly comfortable so I decided to just take break for today and see if the feeling subsides.
For the moment, the key is on the bedside table and it’s not hidden. It doesn’t need to be. Another realization of this week has been that the game, for us, is not about him begging for the key (in other words, begging for release and having an orgasm). It’s much more about working together towards this mutual goal that we have identified. It’s a different spin than what’s “traditional” or “typical” and it seems to be working well for us.
Of course, if I come home and find out he’s unlocked himself and rubbed one out in the shower, then I’ll be eating my words. LOL. I’ll keep everyone posted.
Quotes from Ab: VIII September 19, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings, Quotes from Ab.
Tags: key holder, male chastity, orgasm denial, orgasm vacation
Not really a quote, but he sent this to me yesterday:
My poll: I had about 500 views at the site yesterday and so far, 26 people have voted in the poll, which is a 5.2% response rate. The poll is still open so please feel free to add your 2 cents. . A short release (less than 6 hours) has garnered the most votes so far (n = 9; 35%). My current thinking is that Ab will have a short-ish release, probably no more than 24 hours. But I am going to let him orgasm as many times as he wants in that period. I am very curious about how this all works out.
Quotes from Ab: VII September 16, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings, Quotes from Ab.
Tags: male chastity, chastity lifestyle, devices, Jailbird, fetish, Sean Michael, clothing
“I am completely addicted to…Angry Birds.” LOL
Angry Birds, for those who don’t know, is a silly game that you can play on your iPhone or iPad. It has an addicting quality. The only thing that keeps me from being completely hooked is that I am not very good at it. Ab, on the hand, really gets it and has a lot of fun playing it. I bring it up here because he tells me that now that he has to pee sitting down, it gives him an extra minute or two in the bathroom and he uses that time to play Angry Birds. Ai yi yi!
One thing he has barely commented on and never complained about is the fact that he is no longer a “stand up to urinate” kind of guy. This has hardly registered on his chastity radar. It might be because at his work there is only one bathroom and it doesn’t have a urinal. Who knows? I commented that I know men who work on their feet all day and they like to sit, just to give themselves a two minute break. When I said this, Ab just looked at me and said, “Really?” like it was a whole new idea. And yes, he is on his feet most of the day. I’m surprised he never figured this out before!
* * * * *
Last night turned out to be a very good night. Clearly, trading sexy emails all day is a good strategy to ensure a man is all hot and bothered when he gets home. That, and the promise of getting to wear sexy clothes in the evening…
I make his clothes sound so risqué, but they really aren’t. We’re talking some black silk pants and a velvet thong. The thing is, Ab really gets off on the feel of silky and velvety fabrics against his skin. Here I am, a woman, and I could care less about silky, sexy fabrics. (Actually, I could care less about clothes, period, as my naturism post documents.) But he enjoys them and looks good in them so if that’s what turns him on, fine with me! He wore them for dinner which again, doesn’t sound all that out there but as I looked at him I realized that 99% of our sex play has been confined to the bedroom for the past 15 or 20 years. That’s what happens when you have a small house and children. Now that our daughter is gone, we can suddenly act like a pair of wild and crazy kids for the first time in ages. I am trying to figure out if my subconscious brain knew this when I came up with the idea of chastity on the eve of our daughter’s depature?
I did email Ab a PDF of a book that includes a character with a serious clothing fetish (Secrets, Skins and Leather by Sean Michael, if anyone is curious.) This goes along with my new realization that if I share porn, er, I mean stories with him, that might stoke his fire a little bit, too.
When he was leaving this morning I asked if we’d be sending hot emails again today and he gave me a funny smile and said, “Maybe we should focus on getting at least a little bit of work done.” Yeah, he’s probably right.
The other thing from last night…the last little bit of anger from Sunday seems to be completely past. He apologized about getting angry about the Jailbird and said he was glad I had ordered it. He asked what size I got. He thought that the shorter, narrower cage was a good choice. He did seem a little anxious about the 1/4″ spacer (as opposed to 3/8″) but I told him that could be adjusted if need be. Now we are both eager for it to arrive—unfortunately, Mature Metal says two to three weeks delivery time and it hasn’t even been a week. Sigh… I just need to be patient (not my strong suit, which I suspect many of the readers here have already figured out!). Also from last night: since wearing his clothes was tied to leaving his CB on, he did figure out how to clean it. He rummaged around and found an old squirt bottle in the way back of a cabinet (I swear, you could find anything is this house if you searched hard enough). He also didn’t have any more complaints about wearing the CB at work—at least for the moment. I asked for the spare key which he did hand over—of course with the promise of lots of attention and sex from me. Yes…we can make this all work.
Because I like shopping online, I found a nice little bit of fetish clothing on sale for 80% off. I showed Ab a picture and he was all enthused. It arrives tomorrow but I might make him wait until the Jailbird arrives until he can wear it. “Locked in steel, laced in silk,” I told him. HOT!