Give Ab the PlAin Facts! January 28, 2011Posted by Dev in Opinions.
I have mentioned to Ab, off and on over the years, the idea of getting a PA (Prince Albert) piercing. At first his response was always, “No! NO! Absolutely not!” but in recent months he has moved more towards of look of anxiety with less vehement protestations. Last night I brought it up again (yes, I am persistent). He paused for a minute and then said, “Is that it, then? You never want me to have an erection again? You never want to have intercourse?” I was surprised at his mis-perception. “A PA doesn’t affect either of those things,” I replied. “In fact, I’ve heard that for a lot of women, it can improve intercourse. A new sensation…”
“And peeing?” he asked. “Doesn’t it affect that?”
“In what way?” I replied.
“I’d have to sit down, I’ve heard.”
“Well, aren’t you sitting down now?”
He still looked dubious so I suggested that I’d throw the question out here to my readers since all of my knowledge is second- and third hand. Pierced guys, what are your experiences, both pro and con? Would you do it again? If not, why not? If yes, why? If you are inclined to add your age and how long you’ve had your piercing, that would be helpful, too.
I should note that Ab hasn’t had entirely successful experiences with piercings. He got his left nipple pierced on my 50th birthday. Then he got a second piercing in that same nipple. The guy did it crooked and it never healed properly, so in between looking lousy and being painful, Ab took it out. Then he got his right nipple done—which also never healed properly. After a painful year, he took that one out, too. As he’s 2 for 3 in negative piercing experiences, I can understand why he might be a little gun shy on the idea of a PA.
My one concern is how it would fit with his Watchful Mistress. That’s already a snug fit so the idea of trying to fit one more thing in there—is that realistic? If folks recall, we don’t have the JailBird anymore which was 1/4″ longer.
So…have at it, guys. Ab reads the blog so I know he’ll be looking forward to your comments.
Utilikilts—Yay or Nay? December 26, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings, Opinions, Polls.
Tags: chastity lifestyle, clothing, just for fun
I never heard of Utilikilts until a few days ago where I saw a mention of them in a comment on a blog. Being the curious type, I googled the name and discovered the Utilikilts website. Apparently the inventor hails from Seattle and there is a retail store on 1st Avenue in that same city—but as a fashion statement, they haven’t made their way east. At least, not that I have ever seen!
Doing a bit more googling, I discovered that people seem to have very strong opinions about Utilikilts: they either love ‘em or hate ‘em. I couldn’t find much in the way of neutral comments or attitudes.
Chaste guys worry about unsightly bulges in their pants from their devices—although as I have said before, I’ve never been able to notice device-wearing man, even my own husband! But it seems to me that maybe a skirt, such as a kilt, could eliminate that problem.
I showed Ab the website and he was intrigued, although he wasn’t sure he’d be up to wearing a Utilikilt to work. Even so, he gets tired of chafing from pants and he likes having his legs bare. The minute it gets warm enough he switches to shorts and wears them for the entire season. He delays going back into jeans until the last possible moment. A kilt has a definite appeal for him.
His birthday is coming up in January and I kiddingly said, “I should order one for you.”
“Go ahead,” he replied.
This was before either of us had looked at the price: $215 for the classic style. Yikes! That’s a little steep for a potential gag gift. Fifty bucks? Sure, I’ll spend that in a minute. But two hundred? That’s starting to approach the price of a chastity device. Do I really want to spend that much on something that might never be worn?
So I decided to throw the question out to my readers with a little poll. You tell me: will Ab be a fashion trendsetter? Or should I be investigating something else—anything else!—for his birthday. Cast your vote in the poll and please leave comments letting me know what you really think. I look forward to the results.
This Post Has Nothing To Do With Chastity September 23, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings, Opinions.
Tags: Dan Savage, It Gets Better Project, youth suicide
I just needed to get that out there. If you read this blog only for the chastity stuff, you might want to pass this post by. On the other hand, I know that many of my readers are married couples with children, so I hope you’ll give me five minutes of your time.
Youth suicide is a major problem in the US. It is the third leading cause of death among young people ages 10-24. The trouble is, many adults don’t realize the extent of the problem because the media have taken the position of not publicizing suicides as news, because by doing so, they may encourage other young people to take their lives. Whether or not this is true is a debatable point but the unfortunate outcome is that youth suicide has become a hidden problem—and by being hidden, many people are able to pretend it doesn’t exist (or are oblivious to its existence).
Deaths from youth suicide are only part of the problem. More young people survive suicide attempts than actually die. A nationwide survey of youth in grades 9-12 in public and private schools in the United States (US) found that 15% of students reported seriously considering suicide, 11% reported creating a plan, and 7% reporting trying to take their own life in the 12 months preceding the survey. Each year, approximately 149,000 youth between the ages of 10 and 24 receive medical care for self-inflicted injuries at Emergency Departments across the US.
Suicide affects LGBTQ youth disproportionately and gay teens are more than four times more likely to attempt suicide than straight teens. Nine out of ten gay kids experience bullying and harassment at school. This is a particularly personal issue for me. My daughter came out to Ab and me as bisexual when she was 15. She has had many challenging years dealing with suicidal thoughts, depression, and self-harm behaviors (she was a cutter). Fortunately, with a lot of love, support, and therapy, she made it out of high school in one piece. She’s in college now—happy and loving every minute. She hasn’t had a depressive episode in over a year.
High school is a particular kind of hell that young people are forced to go through. Unfortunately, not all children are as lucky as my daughter.
Recognizing this, Dan Savage, the sex advice columnist, has launched a video project called “It Gets Better.” The purpose is to reach out to LGBTQ youth and let them know that there is a life after high school—there is a world where you won’t be bullied or harassed. When you are living in the moment, it’s hard to believe there is another kind of life; the purpose of this project is to illustrate that yes, that other life is out there waiting for you—it’s just around the corner and my daughter exists as living proof that this is true.
While is project is directed towards LGBTQ youth, I think that all kids (and parents) can benefit from watching the video and becoming aware. Like I said at the beginning, suicide is a problem for all young people as well as their parents and the other adults in their lives. While I definitely want my bisexual daughter to grow up and have a happy life with the partner of her choice, I want the same for my decidedly heterosexual son, too.
This is the video that Dan and his husband Terry, have made. You can learn more about the It Gets Better Project here.
And now we’ll return to our regularly scheduled chastity programming.
Thanks for reading,
I’m Flattered! September 3, 2010Posted by Dev in Opinions.
Tags: chastity lifestyle, male chastity, Sarah Jameson, women and chastity
I got a great big shout-out in Sarah Jameson’s newsletter this week!
Sarah, as I am sure everyone who is reading this knows, is the author of Be Careful What You Wish For (reviewed here) and the hostess of the Male Chastity Blog. She also has a free newsletter, Something for the Weekend, which, if you are a subscriber, will land in your emailbox on Friday.
One week of blogging and I rated a whole column this week’s issue: “It’s Not Just About the Men.” I definitely am flattered. Thanks, Sarah!
Seriously, she understands what I am trying to do here: present my thoughts, feelings, impressions, and experiences with male chastity from a woman’s point of view. I hope this information is useful for men and women who read this blog.
Sarah likes the title I selected—she says it is delightful—and notes that I write with humor and intelligence (well, she says humour). Phew! My cheeks are red!
Okay, enough mutual admiration for today. But I do appreciate the publicity and the sincere acknowledgement and understanding of what I am working to accomplish—that is, safe, sane, and useful information about male chastity—both for my own personal journey and also to help others with theirs.
Thanks Sarah, and thanks to all who read and comment. Newcomers who are here because of the newsletter, welcome. I hope this site is useful to you.
Just To Be Clear August 29, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings, Opinions.
Tags: chastity lifestyle, chastity outcomes, male chastity
There is some seriously weird stuff out there on the Internet (not that this is news to anyone) and blogs, forums, and websites that discuss male chastity are no exception. My husband and I are exploring male chastity for a variety of reasons, but I want to make it clear from the outset that there are (alleged) aspects of the lifestyle that not goals for us. In particular:
1. I have no interest in having my husband become a sissy, be sissified, or become a feminized man. I am not going to turn him into an “adult baby” who wears diapers, sucks on a pacifier, and sleeps in a crib. Likewise, I will not be asking him to wear a bra, panties, garter belt/girdle, nylons, high heels or women’s dresses.
My husband is a man and I intend to have him stay that way.
2. I will not be turning my husband into a “maid” or “slave.” Regarding the latter in particular: the thought of him crawling around the house on his hands and knees, drinking from a dog bowl, or sitting at my feet—the image is repugnant to me and certainly will not exist in our reality. My husband is a kind and courteous person who already does the majority of the cleaning, laundry, cooking, yardwork, and grocery shopping in our day-to-day lives. I don’t expect this to change and I don’t expect the dynamic to change that he does these things because he is a slave, maid, or submissive. If he becomes more caring and attentive to me (which is already happening) then that is a nice benefit, but it is not a step on a process to becoming an enslaved person.
3. I do not expect my husband’s cock to become a limp, flaccid, useless appendage, nor will I be exploring castration for him, either chemical or surgical. I like my husband’s cock, thank you very much, and I have no intention of it disappearing from our lives completely, particularly in regard to its sexual function. In fact, one of the reasons we are exploring male chastity is to improve the quality of his erections and ejaculatory orgasms, not eradicate them completely.
4. I will not be finding a lover or other man to “service” me or provide penetrative sex in the absence of my husband doing so. My husband loves me and knows how to please me and give me sexual satisfaction—typically, without penetrative intercourse. If my desire to feel a man inside me is so great and overwhelming, then all I need to do is take his device off and ask him to do so and he will. The thought of him standing by, watching me have sex with another man while his cock is rendered “useless” by a chastity device—let’s just say, that’s not a turn on.
We both believe that sex is an important part of our lives and it’s also a lot of fun. Male chastity, in the context of our lives, is partly a game but also a way to sort through and explore some issues that have become more clear to us in recent weeks. That is what I will be posting about on this blog. If you want to read about adult babies, sissies, slaves, or cuckholded men, then you’ll need to go somewhere else because that’s not going to be happening here.
Thanks for understanding.