Swinging Shenanigans in Southern Maine October 29, 2011Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: Dan Savage, fetish, news, swingers
The paper has been all a-buzz this week with front page stories four days in a row–with two on Thursday–about swinger parties being held at a function hall in Sanford, Maine. Gasp! Can you imagine? Sex acts, people in the nude, doing God knows what near the food! It seems like the food was the most problematic issue, at least for some people. LOL.
Here are links to the various stories:
Caterer Promises to Stop Sanford Sex Parties (Wednesday)
Caterer Tells Town Sex Parties Will Stop (Thursday)
It’s nice to know that the police and town officials are “keeping me safe” by imposing their Puritanical views on me (and everyone else) and assuming that we’d all be as appalled as they are about the notion of swinger parties behind held at night, behind closed doors, in a private venue. Guess what? I’m more appalled at their assumptions that I’d have a problem with this.
You’ve got to wonder how people’s minds work, though. Consider the following tidbit, published on Thursday.
Town officials are so concerned that residents may be offended at the prospect of voting where sex parties occurred that they are directing Ward 7 voters to cast ballots Nov. 8 at the Ward 3 polling place, at the St. Ignatius Gym on Riverside Avenue.
“Not knowing what might be present or how clean the hall might be, we moved the polling place in case anyone might be uncomfortable voting there,” said Town Clerk Sue Cote.
Seriously? Exactly what might be present? Cooties? A used condom? (Gasp!!). I imagine that the owners have a cleaning crew that comes in and knows how to wield a mop and squeegee. I would also hazard a guess that the place is more of a wreck after a wedding or raucous family reunion than it is after a swinger party.
Careful readers will note that the police and town officials fall back on their tried and true canard that it would never be the good people of Maine who would engage in such lascivious activities–of course it is folks from away, specifically Massachusetts. The police used their very best detective skills to ferret out that bit of evidence by looking at the license plates of the cars in the parking lot. They “all” were from Massachusetts. Again, seriously? Every last one? No horny kinky folks from New Hampshire? Or Maine? LOL.
Dan Savage had a very funny headline in his blog which I just had to share with you:
People Who Live In Massachusetts Are Big Fucking Sex Crazed Slut Monsters and Their Creepy Erections, Slutty Vaginas, Freaky Accents, and Parked Cars Are Totally Grossing Out the Good People of Sanford, Maine
You can read the whole thing here.
As someone said in the comments, I so hope that Jon Stewart picks this one up.