There’s a New Blog on the Block October 31, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: chastity lifestyle, chastity outcomes, devices, male chastity, masturbation, women and chastity
There’s a new blog on chastity that was started just a few days ago: Nuts4Belle. The reason I am pimping this is because it is being written by a man and his wife. Yay, another enthusiastic keyholder in the blogosphere! Seriously, the bloggers are jnuts and his wife Belle (not to be confused with Thumper’s Belle Fille). They are a couple with two young children and discovered chastity quite recently. They have been on the honor system for a few weeks and have a Jailbird on order. Their enthusiasm is contagious and I look forward to having both their perspectives come through in their blog.
It was a comment from Belle that got me thinking about my own relationship with Ab and partly what prompted my post yesterday. Belle wrote:
I am still struggling with “What if someone finds out?”, and more than anything the Dom/Sub thing scares me…
I have commented on the “What is someone finds out?” issue in this blog (in a nutshell, it is unlikely they will and if they do, they probably won’t care) but I’ve stayed away from the Dom/sub topic. I am mostly going to stay away from it now but I just want to reiterate a point I was trying to make in yesterday’s post: chastity is not inevitably going to lead to an outcome that you don’t want. We’re all consenting adults and all we need to do is say, “Please stop. I don’t want to do this.” Or, “I don’t want to quite do it that way, but can we find a middle ground that will make both of us happy?”
An example of the latter is something that happened to us somewhat serendipitously in recent months, brought about by chastity.
I have known, for a long time, that Ab has a bit of a fetish for silky women’s undies. I know he’d like to wear them. Since I don’t wear them, there’s never been anything in my underwear drawer that he could “borrow.” Further, since he knew I wasn’t turned on by the idea of him in silky panties, he never went out and bought any for himself. So there it was, a fantasy unfulfilled.
When he started wearing the chastity device, he realized he needed some sort of underwear to provide support. His previous going commando lifestyle just didn’t work with a CB in his jeans. He broached the topic with me and hinted that he wanted something sexier than plain old white BVDs. I took the bait and actually came up with a great solution in the Mansilk thong that I discovered. It provided the support he needed (the primary reason for wearing something); I liked the look and he got to satisfy his silky undie fetish. Sounds like a win-win for both of us, don’t you think?
Chastity has also helped us bring some reality to Dom/sub fantasies that he has had. Again, for many years he has said to me that he’d like to be submissive. However, aside from playing a few tie-up games in bed, I wasn’t quite sure how to take that further in a way that would be comfortable for both of us. In the context of our day-to-day lives, he really is quite submissive (although I would prefer a different word, like devoted) but we “do” submissive in a polite and respectful way. I don’t demand and he anticipates; because he anticipates, I don’t need to demand. Does that make sense? Anyway, chastity has proven to be a good way for us to go a little bit further with submission. To be honest, I think he agreed to try chastity at the beginning because of the submissive dimension and in that regard, it’s working out well.
I’m in charge of his cock and orgasms. Total control has been given to me. In fact, I’ve had the opportunity to realize just how true this is in the past few days. He’s been in and out of his device—a combination of soreness, plus figuring out the most comfortable fit for the new Watchful Mistress—and he has proven himself to be completely trustworthy while on the honor system. When I asked him if he had masturbated or even considered it, he gave me a truly puzzled look. “Of course not,” he said. “You’re in charge. I don’t orgasm without your knowledge and consent.” He anticipates what I want, and behaves accordingly—but as readers of this blog know, a few months ago, that wasn’t the case, at least with respect to masturbation. Is he being submissive? I would say yes. More than prior to chastity? Well, of course, because I wasn’t in charge of his orgasms then. I am now…
But, for the moment, that’s as far as we are taking it. Things may change in the coming months as we continue to explore our limits and push our boundaries. And I guess that would be my other bit of advice to Belle and other women out there: even if the “Dom/sub thing” that scares you is in your future, it’s not going to happen overnight. Things can evolve slowly. That’s one of the nice things about chastity—being a game that’s played out over days and weeks rather than minutes and hours, you have plenty of time to think about things, discuss them with your husband, and then, if something is appealing, give it a try. And if something doesn’t float your boat, just say no. It’s that simple.
Quotes from Ab: XII October 30, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings, Quotes from Ab.
Tags: chastity lifestyle, chastity outcomes, female led relationship
“You know, we have a wife-led relationship,” Ab said the other day.
“We do?” I replied.
He looked at me like I was a dummy. “Of course we do,” he said. “Think about it.”
So I thought about it.
He is right, of course. From the very beginning of our marriage—in fact, it probably started when we were dating and I took over his checkbook—I’ve been in charge. When we were first married, we rented a house that didn’t have a washer and dryer and so we had to go to the laundromat, a chore I never particularly enjoyed. He took that on without much discussion. We also only had one car. For me to get to work would have required a walk to the subway, then riding on the bus and then another walk to get to the hospital. I know, I know, thousands of people do this every day but getting up at 5 am to be at work by 8 didn’t particularly appeal to me, so Ab offered to be my chauffeur. I happily accepted.
Some might say, “You were newlyweds. Of course he was going to be super-nice in those days.” Maybe that’s true but super-nice never stopped.
Over the years, more chores and tasks have become his responsibility. We had cleaning people for quite a few years but when we documented a few incidents of theft, they had to go. At that time Ab pointed out that he could clean the house and we’d save $150/month. Fine with me.
We bought a John Deere tractor to mow the lawn (we have a big yard) and I liked driving around on it. But he complained about my grass mowing technique and so I said, “Fine. Do it yourself.” And he has, ever since.
Probably the last big chore I handed over was cooking and grocery shopping. This happened in 2006. One, I realized I was bored with cooking after 27 years and two, our daughter is a very picky eater. I was tired of her turning up her nose at everything I made and expecting me to prepare two meals, one for the family and one for her. So, I quit. This wasn’t done with any big fanfare or announcement. I just stopped. I am not sure I consciously even realized I had stopped. It just happened. After a few weeks of eating really strange meals, Ab stepped up to the plate and began to prepare dinner. Soon, he took charge of meal planning and grocery shopping. I bought him a copy of The Joy of Cooking and got a few subscriptions to cooking magazines with about-to-expire frequent flyer miles. (He is especially fond of Everyday Cooking from Martha Stewart. Just FYI.) I cook on occasion and when I do it is a treat for everyone—at least I think it is. LOL. Ab has turned into decent chef who is quite creative in searching out new recipes. Now that our daughter is off at college and he doesn’t try to cater to her food needs, he has gotten even more adventurous. It’s fun for us. (As I type this, he is steaming a lobster for some sort of exotic lobster dish. One advantage of living in New England…)
I have always handled the day-to-day money. The big things—mortgage, car loans, etc., have always been a shared decision but paying the bills? Ab doesn’t have a clue.
The one place where we have had totally shared responsibility is in raising our children. We were both completely invested in this and put in the time and energy required to be parents. And in this day and age—believe me, time required is a lot. But I don’t begrudge one minute we have spent being the very best parents we could possibly be.
My point? This is our life. This is our life for the 32 years we’ve been married plus the 11 months before when we were dating and engaged. I’ve always been in charge. But, up until a few months ago, I never heard the expression “wife led marriage,” “female led relationship,” “femdom,” or any variation thereof. It wasn’t on my radar screen.
The other thing that wasn’t on my radar screen were the accoutrements that seem to go with FLRs (or whatever) as described in various blogs. That is, we don’t have a contract (beyond the one we have specific to chastity that is described here). Ab is not being branded, pierced, beaten, whipped, forced to wear panties, diapers, or a bra; he is not handed a daily list of chores that he must complete and if he doesn’t complete them to my satisfaction, he is punished. That’s not happening in our household. I do not ask him to cook dinner naked (although sometimes he does that on his own but that has more to do with his enjoyment of being nude rather than any sort of subservient role to me). I don’t demand that he do certain things for me—massages, foot rubs, bringing me a glass of wine—but he often does. He does it because he loves me, not because we are in a FLR. And I do things for him for the very same reason.
Now chastity has entered our lives. Did I seek out chastity because I wanted more control or an additional tool for discipline? Absolutely not and regular readers of this blog will know that’s the truth. We discovered chastity as a hot game that intrigued us and one that we have come to learn we both enjoy; the unexpected benefit is that it has brought us enhanced communication and a greater understanding of our lives together. Part of that understanding, I must grudgingly admit, is that I am calling the shots and running the show, ie, a FLR, although I abhor that label and won’t be using it. I only bring it up so that other women and men who might be reading this blog and are trying to sort out what is going on between them can realize that a woman can be strong, confident, and assertive but that does not invariably lead to punishing, diapers, and cuckolding.
Trust me, I know what I am talking about. I have 32 years of experience.
The Other Man October 28, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: cuckholding, kinky
I have mentioned a couple of times that the concept of cuckolding doesn’t really turn me on, either in reality or as a fantasy. But having read a number of blogs with cuckolding couples sharing their lives, I’ve been thinking about it more, which caused me to consider an experience I had about a dozen years ago in a different light.
It all started when an old high school friend, Zack, tracked me down on the Internet. This was pre-Facebook so finding old friends wasn’t quite as common as it is today. Anyway, he sent me an email and I was delighted to hear from him. It had been at least 25 years since we’d last seen each other. He lives in a state several thousand miles from me but in a wonderful coincidence, I was going to be presenting at a conference in a city about 100 miles from his home. I shared this info and he immediately jumped on the chance to get together for a reunion.
We emailed back and forth. I added an extra two days to my trip so we’d be able to visit without the interference of work. I was excited about seeing him again.
Our relationship in high school was not as boyfriend and girlfriend; rather, I had a steady boyfriend, Jeff. Jeff and Zack were best friends. Zack had a string of short-term girlfriends (a date or two or three). Since Jeff had a car (a precious commodity for a high school student) we often double-dated: Dev, Jeff, Zack and Zack’s girlfriend-du-jour. Looking back I realize that all those dates probably always felt pretty left out since the three of us were the good buddies. If I knew then what I know now, the three of us probably could have lots of fun, but alas, high school kids weren’t into kinky threesomes back in those days. Our loss.
Anyway, back to the trip. The night before I left, Ab and I had a conversation in which he said to me that he wanted me to “have fun.” I wasn’t exactly sure what he meant and he clarified that it was okay for me to have fun, whatever “having fun” turned into. In other words, sex with Zack was okay if things came to that. I was a little surprised since that was not what I was anticipating but it turned out that Ab was more prescient than me.
On the appointed day, Zack drove to the hotel where I was staying to pick me up. I was waiting in the lobby and the first thing he said to me was, “You’re still beautiful.” I wasn’t expecting that! As for Zack, he was looking pretty damn good, himself. He was one of those guys who had a slightly dorky look in high school—skinny as a rail (as he said, he had to hop around in the shower to get wet)—fine hair that didn’t look like much and the bane of all high school kids: a bad complexion. But now, 25 years later he had matured into a very handsome and buff man (he worked out) with piercing blue eyes, beautiful skin and not a touch of grey. I was smitten.
We drove back to his city, went out to dinner at a swanky restaurant with a lovely view, talked and talked while we ate and drank a lot. It was great. After dinner we went back to his house, still talking and drinking. There, of course, things got more personal.
My favorite memory of the night was when he confessed to me that he had always wanted to have sex with me in high school but would never make a move because of Jeff. Even so, he drove to a pharmacy three towns over to buy a condom! This was back in the quaint old days when you could only buy condoms at the drug store and the pharmacist, who knew everyone in town, would give the boys “a look”; thus anyone in need of a prophylactic had to go elsewhere to find an anonymous pharmacy and pharmacist. Zack told me he carried that condom around for years—it even made a ridge in his wallet. And it never got used.
Naturally, with a seduction like that, we ended up in bed. It was all very romantic with lit candles on every horizontal surface in the bedroom. I was swooning and because I had an implicit okay from Ab, I wasn’t even feeling a little bit guilty.
Then the grand irony of the evening: because he’d had so much to drink, he couldn’t get an erection! I wasn’t particularly put off by this. I was at the stage of my life where I had figured out I wasn’t going to have an orgasm through intercourse anyway, so it was fine with me if he did all the other stuff—fingered me, licked my clit. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a vibrator with me, otherwise I would’ve whipped that out. But he was very, very embarrassed and that pretty much put the kibosh on the rest of our night together. No orgasms for either of us.
He had to work for a few hours the next morning which was probably good to give us a little break. After that, we went out to lunch and then he drove me back to the hotel in the other city. We still had fun but there was a little undercurrent of unhappiness and sadness. It wasn’t the same wonderful feeling as it had been the day before.
When I got home I told Ab everything, of course. He wasn’t jealous nor was he upset since everything happened exactly as he had anticipated (well, not the non-erection part, but everything else). I got to experience a wonderful feeling of love and trust, knowing that he believed in me enough that I could go do this with an old friend but would not be tempted to run away with him forever. I sometimes wonder, however, if Ab’s reaction would have been different if Zack hadn’t had his performance problems. If I had come home and said, “He fucked me like a wild man and I had orgasm after orgasm until he was peeling me off the ceiling…” Would that have changed the dynamic? Would I have even been completely honest?
We’ll never know. It’s all water under the bridge now.
So, thinking of this in the context of cuckolding, this is probably the closest we’ll ever come. My husband sending me off into the arms of another man, with his knowledge and permission. I suspect he got off on this somewhat although we never really delved too much into that aspect of the conversation. Maybe I’ll ask him now, after he reads this post.
As for Zack, we stayed in touch for a few more months but eventually stopped emailing. We realized that beyond our shared memories of high school we didn’t have a whole lot in common and we certainly weren’t in a position to maintain any sort of a relationship. So that was that.
I just tried to look him up on Facebook and he’s not there. Google tells me that he is living in the same city and owns the same small business. I suppose I could email but I think at this stage, it’s best not to open that door again. Wise people know when memories are best as memories and I think this is one of those cases. Oh well. I did have a lot of fun for 24 hours and I’ll hold that close in my heart.
Chastity Evangelist…or Enthusiast? October 26, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: chastity enthusiasts, chastity lifestyle, chastity outcomes
I chuckled yesterday at a comment from Shane67:
In an alternate universe, Dev becomes a chastity evangelist and goes on Oprah…
Evangelist, huh? I will admit, I am enthusiastic and I like to dive into things with both feet, as I have said before. But I am not sure I’d go all the way to evangelist…
That got me thinking about chastity enthusiasts—the type of chastity practitioner that I have come to know over the past few months. We seem to share a certain demographic background and mindset to the chastity game. A few traits I have picked up on (and realize, this is the worst type of generalization…I am not trying to be scientific, just noting observations). Chastity enthusiasts seem to be:
- Married couples, generally m/f (although I have encountered a few gay couples);
- Age generally over 40 (again, I have encountered a few exceptions);
- Tenure of marriage 10+ years;
- Children are usually present in the relationship, mean seems to be two;
- Interest in chastity usually comes from the man (I am the notable exception!)
- While it may be a man’s initial idea (and fantasy), women who sign on as keyholders eventually become quite enthusiastic in the role, although this may take time
- Chastity is the defining characteristic of the game we are playing; it is not a tool in some other scenario (humiliation, punishment, etc.)
With respect to the man’s idea, that seems to break down into two groups: men who have had this fantasy for a long time versus newcomers to the idea. For men who have had the idea a long time, they tend to be quite familiar with the concept, have read blogs and Internet discussion groups (I am sure they were on alt.rec.sex back in the day), are familiar with the variety and types of chastity devices available (including price) and desperately want to be locked up. They struggle with how to broach this subject with their wives, fearing rejection and even ridicule. Something eventually pushes them over the edge and the ensuing discussion and experience, while not completely trouble-free, at least seems to move in a forward direction (again, based on what I have read on blogs and so on).
Newcomer men seem to struggle with some of the same issues as the wives of the “long held fantasy” guys—that is, the idea is intriguing, even a little hot but at the same time it’s sort of weird and maybe too kinky to play with. But they can’t pull themselves away from reading about chastity and learning more. I am reminded of little kids at the ocean—they run up, stick their toes in the surf then realize, ack! It’s cold and run away. But 10 seconds later they are back at the surf, touching their toes to the water. Eventually some—not all—get the courage to plunge in.
And then when they do, they realize—this really isn’t that kinky. It has been mentioned by both Tom Allen and Sarah Jameson that chastity is a gateway kink, and I definitely agree.
Of course that doesn’t stop me from being enthusiastic!
I think the point that newcomer men and worried wives need reassurance on is the fact that putting their toes into the ocean—taking the first step on the chastity path—does not mean that you are invariably heading down a path to humiliation, punishment, or feminization. See my last bullet point above. Chastity is the reason that Ab and I are playing this game. It’s hot and we’re getting off on it. The fact that other insights have come out of this (improved communication, understanding more about masturbation) is just a bonus, not the reason we started playing. For me, I figured this out very early on. Read one of my very first blog posts—I knew right from the outset that I wasn’t moving towards having a husband in diapers and me fucking my big stud lover while he stood by helplessly and watched. Three months later, that fundamental brick in our relationship has not changed.
I can understand why newcomer men and worried wives are anxious. There is a lot of noise out there on the Internet about chastity and some of it is downright bizarre. I will admit to reading many of the more extreme blogs—it’s a little bit like watching a train wreck. I click this link and that link and then the next one…sissy husbands, diapers, shrinking cocks, beatings in the dungeon—it’s odd but weirdly compelling. I fully understand how a person can get addicted to online porn! But what I have been trying to do as I read these blogs is sort through and ascertain: what is total fantasy, what is partial fantasy, and what is real people living real lives.
The real lives people come through pretty easily: me, Thumper, Sarah Jameson, Shane67 (referenced above). As for the others…I am not going to post any links because why should I? I am not here to embarrass or degrade and frankly, if they want to live their more-or-less fantasy life online, they should be able to. I suppose there are people who could/would criticize me and say that everything I’ve posted is completely made up (although I assure you it is not). Still, we find what we want within anything we read, and make our own assessments as to how real, or not, it is.
Anyway, back to the original point—in my estimation the chastity enthusiasts seem to be a pretty normal—dare I say vanilla?—group of kinksters. From what I can tell most of us go about our day-to-day lives looking just like any other couple with the one distinction of—the man in the relationship is wearing a device on his cock that prevents him from having erections and orgasms. Except for that one little blip on the screen, we are completely “normal.” Or maybe it would be safe to say, even with that one little blip on the screen, we are completely normal. In other words…chastity enthusiasts.
For those who are reluctant let me say: “Come on in, the water’s fine.”
A Chaste Couple October 24, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: chastity lifestyle, chastity outcomes, fiction, orgasm denial, women and chastity
I like to imagine conversations that I know I will never have. I guess it’s a type of fantasy for me. Such as this one—let’s pretend I am having lunch with a friend that I haven’t seen for awhile.
“Dev, how are you? You look great!”
“Thanks, Darla, you look great too!” Hug, hug, air kisses…
Settling in our seats at a nice, posh restaurant, ordering a glass of wine. “So tell me, what’s new? Are you busy?”
“Oh yes, very busy. Work is good.”
“And how is Ab? Anything new with him?”
“Ab is great. And as for new…” I carefully unfold my napkin in my lap, then look Darla directly in the eye. “We made a decision a few months ago and, well…it’s pretty exciting.”
“Oh, really? What? Tell me!”
“We decided to live as a chaste couple.” At this point I imagine a variety of expressions on my friend’s face: horror, shock, pity…
“You’ve decided to what?”
“We’ve committed to a chaste lifestyle. It’s been going on for about four months now.”
Total confusion on Darla’s face. “I…I don’t understand. Does this mean you’ve given up sex?” She whispers this last part and glances around the restaurant, as if worried that someone might hear her.
I take a leisurely sip of wine, pausing before answering. “Hardly. In fact, we’re having more sex than ever before. It’s great.”
“But…you said you’re chaste. How can you have sex?”
“Darla, you are thinking of celibacy. We’re not doing that. That’s for priests and monks and those sort of guys. We’re being chaste.”
“I’m sorry, Dev, but I still don’t get it. Can you explain more?”
“Sure. In a nutshell, Ab has agreed to give me control of his orgasms. He only comes with my permission, on a schedule that I determine.”
“Um, okay. But exactly how do you manage that? I mean, he might be masturbating right now.”
“I know he’s not because he’s wearing a metal chastity device that I bought for him. It’s locked on his penis and he is unable to stimulate himself.”
Darla shakes her head. “Okay, Dev, that’s just weird. He’s wearing something locked on his cock?” Darla makes a grimace of displeasure.
“It’s not weird at all, in fact, it’s very hot. I love looking at it. Would you like to see a picture?” I pull out my iPhone.
Darla holds up her hand. “No, no, that’s okay. I really don’t need to see pictures of your husband’s cock on your phone.”
“Actually, it’s not his cock anymore. It’s mine. Along with giving me his orgasms, he gave me his most prized possession. Which reminds me, I should send him a text and make sure he’s taking good care of it today for me.” I quickly send a sexy text.
“You know, Dev, you are one of my oldest and dearest friends, but I really think you are losing your mind.”
I chuckle at this. “Do I look like I am losing my mind? If anything, I feel better than I have felt in ages. I’m happy, I’m sexually satisfied, and communication between Ab and me has improved 1000%. It’s all good.”
Darla harrumphs. “I just know that if I asked Fred to wear a bunch of metal locked on his junk, he’d probably hit the roof.”
“I doubt it. You should ask. It’s a fantasy that a lot of men have. He might be thrilled at the suggestion.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.”
We’re quiet for a minute, looking at our menus. Then Darla asks, “Explain to me how this works. Ab’s locked up, he can’t come, and you’re having more sex than before?”
I nod yes. “That’s the wonderful paradox of chastity. By denying a man his orgasms, his traditional sexual outlet, you open up a whole other world of possibilities. Ab has a little mantra that he likes to say to me: ‘My pleasure is your pleasure.’ He has said it for years but I never truly believed him. Now I do.”
“I think he’d just be frustrated. I know Fred would be.”
“He is frustrated. But all that frustration and pent-up sexual energy gets directed and focused…on me. It’s like a laser beam of sexual energy and I am the lucky beneficiary of all his attention.”
Darla shakes her head again. “I don’t know. I can’t imagine very many couples are doing this.”
“Well, no one has any statistics, of course. People don’t talk about it so there is no way of knowing—are we talking hundreds? Thousands? Millions? The guy who made Ab’s device says his business has been insane recently, so I think it’s more than just a few folks.”
“And it really works? There isn’t a downside?”
“We haven’t experienced a downside yet. And from what I’ve read on the Internet, our experience seems to be pretty typical of most couples who give chastity a try.”
Darla wrinkles her brow. “So explain this to me again…”
Converting skeptics, one at a time.
* * * * *
The guy in the picture above is Levi Poulter, a model from Florida. I love the way he is holding his cock. It makes me think he is being chaste for the person he loves.
* * * * *
I am giving Ab big brownie points this morning. If regular readers recall, he had to go to work last weekend, leaving me alone, feeling neglected and sorry for myself. He had to go to work again today. He came into the bedroom at about 7:30 am. I was expecting my usual good bye kiss. Instead, he whipped off his clothes, hopped into bed and said, “I’m not leaving until I take care of you!” And he did. He even talked dirty, which, to use an expression from another keyholder, is something that really trips my trigger. Phew! He left and I was a happy puddle of post-orgasmic goo. It took me two more hours to drag myself out of bed. A very nice way to start the day. Thanks, sweetie! xxooxxo
Review: American Hunks October 22, 2010Posted by Dev in Reviews.
The “American hunk” is a cultural icon: the image of the chiseled, well-built male body has been promoted and exploited for commercial use for over 125 years, whether in movies, magazines, advertisements, or on consumer products, not only in America but throughout the world.
American Hunks is a fascinating collection of images (many in full color) depicting the muscular American male as documented in popular culture from 1860 to 1970. The book, divided into specific historic eras, includes such personalities as bodybuilder Charles Atlas; pioneer weightlifter Eugene Sandow; movie stars like Steve “Hercules” Reeves and Johnny “Tarzan” Weismuller; and publications such as the 1920s-era magazine Physical Culture and the 1950s-era comic book Mr. Muscles. It also touches on the use of masculine, homoerotic imagery to sell political and military might (including American recruitment posters and Nazi propaganda from the 1936 Olympics), and how companies have used buff, near-naked men to sell products from laundry detergent to sacks of flour since the 1920s. The introduction by David L. Chapman offers insightful information on individual images, while the essay by Brett Josef Grubisic places the work in its proper historical context.
American Hunks is a wonderful collection of photographs, spanning a bit more than a century from 1860 to the early 1970s. It shows muscular men in all their glory, starting with the early gymnasts and strongmen and moving on to bodybuilders and Hollywood stars with handsome physiques.
The pictures are drawn from the collection of author David L. Chapman, who opens the book with a wonderful memoir. When he was eleven, in 1959, he wandered into a tobacconist and magazine store in his hometown of Chula Vista, CA. There, he stumbled upon the magazine, Physique Pictorial, with John Tristam on the cover, photographed by Robert Mizer. Chapman bought the magazine (which, given his age and the fact that the proprietor of the shop was blind, was amusing in and of itself) and in that moment, a collecting obsession was born.
The book has minimal text: a Foreword by Chapman and an essay, Flexed for Success: Consumer Goods, Pop Culture, and the Setting of Heroic Masculinity by co-author Brett Josef Grubisic. It is broken into seven chapters: The Pioneers (1860-1914); Hunks Make the World Safe (1914-1919); Jazz-Age Athletes (1920-1929); Depression Physiques (1930-1940); Supermen at War (1941-1949); The Age of the Chest (1950-1959); and Muscles à Go-Go! (1960-1969). The concluding pictures in the book are of an Austrian with an unpronounceable name who marked the end of normal
bodybuilding and the rise of steroid enhanced bodies. To those of us who appreciate the male form in its natural glory, the current crop of ‘roid puffed-up specimens are about as realistic as breast implants bolted onto a woman’s chest, and Chapman wisely left them out, letting the book end at its natural conclusion.
American Hunks is a large format book (8” x 10”) printed in full color on glossy paper. Many of the images are full-page and all have extensive comments in the picture captions, identifying the subject and photographer (when known) and additional contextual information. In addition to physique photographs, the book includes ads, magazine covers, movie posters and stills, postcards and a variety of other ephemera to illustrate the rise of muscular masculinity in popular American culture.
This 351 page book retails for $29.95 (US); right now it is discounted at Amazon to $19.77 . At Out.com, I found a slide show of pictures from the book so if you need any more temptation to add this book to your collection, go there and look at them. In the meantime, I’ve included a few of my favorites here, along with the captions (just hold your cursor over the picture too see the caption), to
give you first-hand impression of what the book is all about. Enjoy!
Visit Arsenal Pulp Press for more information.
Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for review.
Tenga Eggs October 21, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: masturbation, tease and denial, Tenga eggs
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The Tenga eggs arrived yesterday from Amazon. These look like they are going to be very cool to play with. Maybe now I will finally figure out how to really “do” tease and denial! I decided to post a few pictures in case other readers are as unfamiliar with these as I am.
They are packed in a little egg carton, looking very adorable:
There are six different eggs in the package: Wavy, Clicker, Spider, Twister, Stepper, and Silky. I haven’t opened them all yet so I have no idea what the differences are between them. Each egg is individually wrapped. This is the wrapped Spider, followed by the partially unwrapped Clicker.
Once unwrapped, there is a plastic egg inside, just like the kind that holds jelly beans at Easter. The difference this time is that there is a much more adult jelly product contained within!
The little opening at the end contains a tube and a packet of lube, all in Japanese. Fortunately, the ingredients are listed on the box in English: water, glycerin, hydroxyethylcellulose, sodium polyacrylate, methylparaben. Ah, no CPS! Of course, I suppose we could just use that old standby, Astroglide.
This is the inside of the Clicker. It’s very soft and squishy and I just know I am going to have a lot of fun playing with this on my sweet husband’s cock.
The instructions say this is a one use per egg product, although I have seen comments that if you carefully wash them and put them away, you can manage to get six to ten uses before they must be discarded. I suppose the longevity of each egg depends on the vigorousness of the teasing that goes on.
I suspect Ab will be getting out of his Jailbird sooner, rather than later, for some high quality naked cock playtime. I’ll keep you posted.
A Perfect Storm of Allergies October 20, 2010Posted by Dev in Musings.
Tags: allergies, CPS, Dan Savage, devices, lube
You know how they say things come in threes. It certainly is true and I’ve lately gone through it with allergies—not mine, fortunately but still, some useful info to share on the blog.
Allergy number one was a co-worker who developed a contact dermatitis on her neck. Not too attractive and it itched like mad. One nice thing about working in healthcare is that there is usually a spare nurse practitioner or doctor who can look at things. In this case, we even had a dermatologist on hand. He looked, confirmed our working diagnosis of a contact dermatitis and ran through the litany of things that might be causing it. Any changes in products that she used? Soap? Laundry detergent? Perfume? No, no, no, but then she remembered she had purchased a new hair conditioner…designed to “make my hair shiny, but not crunchy or brittle.” The doctor thought that might be the culprit and suggested she stop using it. She was annoyed—it was expensive—but the itching was more annoying so she took his advice.
Allergy number two was a letter to Dan Savage where the guy wrote that he had always had terrible pain during anal sex, often continuing to the next day. He discovered that the culprit was the lube he was using. His Google research suggested that the irritant might be glycerin. He bought a glycerin-free lube and voilà! A brand new day. He wrote:
I feel like this is the most amazing sexual discovery of my life so far. In talking to friends who “never bottom,” this kind of irritation seems to be the common reason. Although I consider myself fairly well educated about sexual health, I’d never come across this bit of info, and I hope it helps someone!
The comments are interesting with many people mentioning other potential allergens in lube including parabens, propylene glycol, and citric acid. Latex condoms can also be a culprit and one commenter recommended polyisoprene condoms instead, such as those that can be found here.
Incident number three (not sure if it was an allergy or not) was my own beloved Ab. He had his new Jailbird and was adjusting to wearing it and wearing a metal device after a few weeks in polycarbonate. Thumper suggested System JO lubricant to keep things comfortable—he said he couldn’t live without it and uses it twice a day. I read the product description: “long lasting, fragrance and odor free.” Sounds good to me (I don’t like scented products) so I ordered up a bottle. Ab used it one day and said it stung like crazy all day long. Hmmmm…. He went back to baby powder for comfort.
Then, I read a post at Chastity Forums from Shane who was trying to get comfortable in a polycarbonate CB and having a terrible time. It burned, it itched, it caused large red welts. On his blog he wrote:
I’m trying to get to the point where I can wear the CB-6000S pretty much all time time. I only got it a month ago, and wearing it has been really tough. I’m trying to go slow, but still managed to develop some sores along the A-ring. This has happened twice already, with the last time three nights ago. I’ve not worn the device since, but this morning things seemed to have healed up, so I’m back to trying again. What I’ve found out is that the first day or so is excruciating, and then I sort of adapt. I remove it every once in awhile when it’s too much and after five days or so of almost continuous wear, it’s almost bearable. And then sores happen and I have to take it off for few days. I’m cursed with a high and tight ball sack so until it stretches, it appears I’ll just have put up with the discomfort.
I didn’t think this could possibly be normal. I knew how Ab had adjusted to the exact same device—no open sores or excruciating pain! I sent Shane an email and asked if he had considered an allergic reaction? I realized that polycarbonate is not usually an allergen but his skin reaction just seemed so dramatic I thought that something was amiss. And I was right. A few days ago he posted this:
That burning feeling is NOT normal! I’m apparently allergic to Cyclopentasiloxane, at least when used with a CB-6000. Cyclopentasiloxane is the main ingredient in both JO Premium and Swiss Navy silicon lube, and also one of the ingredients in J&J Baby Gel. I’ve used one of these three products almost since day one two months ago, and I would always get this really nasty burning feeling around the A-ring that started about 15 minutes after I put the device on, and that never completely subsided. At around the 24 hour mark, it would get to be too much and I would take the device off to discover a nice big red welt, or worse. I didn’t think it was a reaction because as soon as I took the device off, the burning went away, and well, because I’ve used silicon lube in the past for its intended application (ahem) with no ill effect.
Well! That was an interesting discovery. We have the JO with CPS (the abbreviation for cyclopentasiloxane)—I wonder if that is what bothered Ab? We haven’t used it or tried it for anything since that first day and now I am very leery. I’ve also discovered that CPS is in many hair products because of…
It’s ability to impart a wet and silky look makes it an ideal candidate in hair products, both rinse off and leave on ones. It’s particularly useful in hair conditioners because it provides a silky feel without weighing the hair down with greasy residue.
I called my co-worker, had her look at the bottle and sure enough, CPS is a main ingredient. Unfortunately, I can’t verify anything with the Dan Savage letter writer but I am curious if the culprit might have been CPS, not glycerin. Who knows?
My take-away: Read labels carefully. If a new product bothers your skin, stop using it. Don’t assume you’ll get used to it or it will get better. And watch out for CPS.
From the Mailbag: IV October 19, 2010Posted by Dev in Correspondence, Musings.
Tags: devices, e-mail, games, male chastity, masturbation
I received this terrific message from one of my email friends…
I think for us that’s the key, I make sure she is taken care of 90%-95% of the time and when it’s unlock time there is no expectations of what to expect, that it is sort of my time and my orgasm and really…when I’m done I am so happy, so in love with her, it makes it all worth it. She loves what it does for us. I am 57 she is 43, and I was like all the other males out there (I enjoyed your ED/masturbate blog). I jacked off daily, sometimes maybe twice, and when it was time for her and I to be intimate I sometimes had issues (no wonder) and went to the good doctor for Viagra. I hated the side effects. Then we got into male chastity (my idea) oh ya BCWYAF! It drove me wild! All I wanted was out of it in the beginning, I was so horny all the time but we stuck with it and it is amazing what it has done for us (for me). I do not need the pills. She said it’s harder (my cock) than it used to be and sex is just better…Dev I can’t believe more couples don’t try male chastity. My attitude and habits have changed and I love it. It sucks wearing a chastity belt everyday but as I told her, every pinch, everytime I bump it, I sit to pee I think of her and how much I love her and happy we are doing this!
I am glad to know I am not the only person who thinks there is a holistic solution to ED. Thanks for this message, my friend!
* * * * *
More from the mailbag…some ideas for fun and games…
I thought I would pass along some “fun” things to do with the Jailbird…as I am a huge fan of some bondage my KH/GF bought some small link chain and 2 of the small Master padlocks at Home Depot and locked one of the padlocks and end of the chain to the JB cage and looped the other end around the bedpost slot and locked the chain with the other lock…took her about 1 minute and I was locked up!… ”There you go she said enjoy some lock up time,”….very effective and fast, she had me on about 8′ length of chain, I could walk around a little, lay down but I was not getting away….she went and read the paper…LOL
The idea of having a chain with a lock on the end of the Jailbird is incredibly hot…
Another friend wrote and commented on the masturbation issue that I had described in an earlier post…
So instead of keeping him from masturbating, help him do it—do it together, help him finish, and so on. The Tenga is an awesome toy to play with this. The more he gets back to thinking of his orgasms as something that happens with you, the better everything will be. It’s also not a bad thing to trade off—just like he gets you off without coming, you can return the favor—takes the pressure off him, and that pressure and anxiety is the real enemy. It also fits nicely into chastity play—you’re in charge, and when he comes, it will be with you. I like that approach myself.
I didn’t know what a Tenga was and discovered that they are a masturbation “egg” that apparently is all the rage in Japan. Naturally, because chastity is costing me a small fortune, I had to go and order up a six-pack from Amazon. Free shipping with Prime and they’ll be here tomorrow!